


Beloved of the Stars

by sonofdvrin



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Minor Character Death, but a v poorly researched one skdfkds, this was an excuse to write them in a castle setting lmfao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:41:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 32,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24547786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonofdvrin/pseuds/sonofdvrin
Summary: Nathan is training to become a messenger of the crown. He’s slowly worked his way onto the royal staff, only being a simple farmhand for most of his life. Tyson, on the other hand, wanted to be a knight, just the same as any other young boy, but wasn’t willing to place himself in danger for a brief moment of glory. Instead, he’s become one of the kingdom’s most beloved baker’s, and has taken a position within the castle.When the two meet each other by complete accident, the two strike up a tentative friendship. But when Nathan is sent away on a mission that nearly gets himself killed, there is a bond that is formed that goes beyond normal boundaries of close friendship. As they navigate their feelings for one another, they also have to decide if their love is worth risking everything for.
Relationships: Tyson Barrie/Nathan MacKinnon
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as part of HogwartsOnline OWL's event! If you want some tunes while listening to this, you can listen to the playlist [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4bPZPTQr6dcEHGflLlhiyC?si=GfsTj0nARNispyiIS8k9nA).

_ “ _ _ There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” - Jane Austen _

Besiral is a relatively small kingdom, nestled in the land of Esmary. The relationships with the other ruling countries are slowly being built up, but there is still work to be done. After the uprising a hundred years ago, there is a base work for the various kingdoms to build upon, though many citizens grew up in the unrest that followed a major revolution.

As Nathan grew up, he saw several members of the small farming community he lived in leave to work in the castle and serve the royal family. When he saw that they had a more secure financial future, as they were able to send money back home, Nathan wanted to get involved. He was well aware that there was only so much that he could try to do, growing up on a farm, and having no previous connections to the ruling families, but he was willing to do anything. 

His family was rather close with the Johnson’s, and the eldest boy left to join the castle working with the horses. From the gossip Nathan heard from his mother and sister’s, Erik was unable to get direct work where he wanted it, and was assigned as a messenger. From what Nathan was able to gather, messenger work was easy to get, and was a secure enough position. It was at that moment that he decided he would follow in the paths forged by previous community members and left for the castle as a young teenager.

The job came with more training than Nathan was prepared for; every messenger had to be trained in diplomacy, horsemanship, fighting, and other general knowledge of how to navigate difficult situations. What kept him going was knowing that he would be able to make a difference, even a small one, and that he could send some of his income back home to make up for his missing labor on the farm.

Many years later, Nathan was granted an apprenticeship with a messenger who had been running messages for the kingdom since the uprising. If anyone knew how to avoid getting killed while dealing with angry royals, it was Matt Calvert. Mostly, Nathan didn’t do much besides follow him around, but this was typical of his position until Nathan was more than just a man in his early twenties. 

“So, what do you make of the job so far?” Matt inquires, after another day of training with the knights.

“It’s...not what I expected,” Nathan answers. “I wasn’t expecting training to go on for as long as it has.”

Matt snorts. “It’s frankly amazing that you’ve gotten an apprenticeship after only ten years of basic training. Many have to wait for much longer, especially when earning the trust of the crown. You are in a lucky position, MacKinnon.”

Nathan sighs. “I’m well aware, but I just want to start already, you know? It’s hard to not be in the spot I thought I would be.”

“It’s understandable that you may not be where you thought you should have been, but that is only because nobody talks about how long it takes to train. Ten years is not too long, especially for you,” Matt explains. “A farm boy with no previous connections to the royals making it to where you have is impressive.”

“I know,” Nate sighs, pouting a little bit. “How long am I supposed to be training with you anyways?”

Matt shrugs. “Until you are told not to. I know that isn’t the answer that you’re looking for, but it is the one that you will receive. I wish I could give you a more concrete answer, but you also have to realize that the crown wants all messengers trained more vigilantly, especially considering we are still building relationships with other kingdoms.”

“Makes sense, I suppose,” Nathan replies. “I guess I just want to prove to my parents that leaving the farm was the right decision. I don’t want them to regret letting me leave, when I could have been doing so much to help them.”

“You are doing the best that you can, and you are sending as much money as you can to them. They have to understand that, and from what I’ve heard, they are proud of you.”

Nathan smiles a little, but doesn’t say anything in turn. As they head to the castle to grab something to eat, he mulls over everything Matt has told him. He’s aware of everything Matt explained to him, but it’s good to get some validation that he’s moving in the right direction. As with many other jobs relating to the royal family, it takes many people years to have a secure position.

By the time they arrive at the kitchens, there’s an inviting scent rolling through the entire room. As staff, Nathan and Matt must eat in the designated areas within the kitchen, so as to not mix with the royal family or their guests. There are some nights where they are allowed in the dining hall, but only if they are the designated messengers for the night.

As they grab some food laid out by the cooks, Nathan tries to figure out where the smell is coming from. The room is set up in a way that doesn’t allow for them to easily see where the actual cooking and baking is happening, but he’s still hopeful he might still catch a glance. While Nathan doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth, he enjoys a good dessert just as much as the next person.

“Must be from the new baker the family just brought on,” Matt comments, when he sees Nathan trying to peek around into the actual kitchens.

“There’s a new baker?” Nathan asks.

“Yes, I’ve been hearing the rumors float around the castle,” Matt answers.

Nathan follows him to a table in the corner. It’s uncommon for new bakers and cooks to be hired on, as many are trained from a young age, as to make sure that they are not spies wanting to poison the royalty. So, this is news indeed and Nathan is surprised that he has not heard anything before this moment, as staff are prone to gossip.

“Where did they come from?” Nathan asks. “Must be pretty good if the crown wanted to bring them in from the kingdom.”

“I don’t know much about him, but apparently the royal family took a liking to his bakery in town. I guess they offered him enough money to ditch that job to come here,” Matt explains, shrugging a little bit. “Besides, it would be risky to say no anyways.”

“Makes sense, I suppose,” Nathan replies, before starting to eat. 

They pass the rest of their meal in silence, leaving Nathan to think about the new baker. He knows that he doesn’t even know him yet, but knowing that he came from outside the castle, with no previous royal connections. It’s hard to find within the castle, so he feels at least a little bit of kinship there.

As they drop off their plates next to the kitchen, he tries to take one last peek within the kitchen. He can hear Matt laugh a little bit behind him, but Nathan is just curious. But he doesn’t see the new baker, leaving him disappointed. They start making their way to the library, since Matt wants to talk more in detail about kingdom relations.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll meet him soon enough,” Matt says, as they approach the library. “You’re nosy enough to find him at some point.”

“What’s his name anyways?” Nate inquires. “I feel like I need to stop referring to him as ‘the new baker’ in my head.”

“Tyson Barrie, I think,” Matt answers. “Never heard the family name before, but I suppose that isn’t surprising. Never heard of your name either, until you came here.”

Nathan just rolls his eyes, and follows Matt to their usual table within the library. Today is mostly a day where Matt will quiz him on things that they’ve been learning for the past few months. With the amount of history, and how the uprising changed everything at its core, there are more intricacies than Nathan had initially cared for.

There’s a lot of information that is hard to retain, but his job rests on him remembering the small things. Some things might not seem like much, like with what food and drink preferences different royals have, but Matt insists that basic knowledge has more importance than anyone admits. So, he takes it all in and does his best to remember everything.

Turns out that Nathan is correct in guessing that Matt is going to quiz him. They spend the rest of the afternoon going through different relationships Besiral has and what things looked like pre- and post-uprising. He gets some things wrong, but Nathan remembers most of it. Matt just gives him a look at every wrong answer, so Nate does his best to correct himself.

“You’re doing well,” Matt says, as they wrap up for the day, and head back to the kitchens.

“Doesn’t feel like it,” Nate snorts. “But I’ll try and do better.”

“It takes years to remember everything, Nathan. Don’t beat yourself too much over it, okay? I’m only in the position I’m in because I’ve been at this for decades. You’ll get there some day.”

“I know, but…”

“Remember, you got here much later than many messengers do and you’ve proved yourself enough to become an apprentice by twenty-five. It seems late, but I promise that you’re making good progress.”

Nathan sighs. “I guess so. It’s just...on the farm, I would be training to take over the farm already and be able to make some of the major decisions. But this is different.”

“It is  _ very _ different,” Matt replies, seriously. “Not that running a farm isn’t important, but one wrong move on our part, and we could start another war. What we do matters because we have to make sure that we’re not making the wrong move.”

“When I remember that, I feel like I want to run back to the farm,” Nate snorts. “But I suppose it’s a little late for that.”

Matt smiles. “Yes, it probably is. But I’m very proud of you, always remember that.”

“Thank you,” Nathan whispers. 

As they make their way into the kitchens again, Nathan notices that it still smells amazing in there. He tries to catch a glance, knowing that he won’t see anything. Matt just rolls his eyes again, but doesn’t make any comment. Dinner passes in silence, with Nathan wrapped up in thoughts of Tyson.

Normally, he doesn’t find himself thinking about people too often, but it’s rare to find people like him. Most people on staff are born into the work, or brought in because they’re related to people already on staff. So, he can’t blame himself for being a little bit curious at who Tyson is. If he’s lucky, maybe they’ll get to meet at a meal, but he can always hunt the other man down during a royal event, where most staff members have to be in attendance.

“Colin, are you out here or-” someone says, coming out into the dining area. 

Nathan looks up, and sees a man about his age, with dark, curly hair. He doesn’t recognize him as the usual kitchen staff, which means that this must be the mysterious Tyson. When the baker looks over at them, he flushes a little, seemingly taken off-guard by seeing people there, which shouldn’t be surprising, considering staff eat at all times of the day.

“Um, haven’t seen Colin out here,” Nathan says, unsure of what else to say.

“Oh, well, thank you,” the man replies. “I had some questions about the upcoming ball, but I suppose that will have to wait.”

“I presume that you’re Tyson Barrie?” Matt inquires. 

“Yes, that would be me. I’m guessing word has already gotten around?” Tyson replies, laughing awkwardly.

“Everyone here is a gossip, but that should be no surprise,” Matt replies. “Last time someone came in without connections was this man right here.”

Matt points his fork at Nathan, who blushes immediately. Tyson smiles softly at him, which only makes him blush more. This really isn’t how he wanted to meet the new baker, but he supposes Matt could have easily embarrassed him more.

“Well, sounds like a story you’ll have to tell me when I’m not making things in a blind panic,” Tyson says. “But it’s back to baking. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

“Good luck,” Nathan says lamely, watching Tyson walk back into the kitchen.

“Nathan,” Matt says, a warning in his voice.

“Yes?” Nathan replies, looking back over at Matt. “What, did I say something wrong?”

“No, but I can tell that you’re going to get too invested in him.”

“What’s  _ that _ supposed to mean?” Nathan exclaims. “I just want to talk to him since we’re in the same boat and all.”

Matt snorts. “I know you, Nathan. Your heart's too big and you fall in love too easily. Now is not the time to go get your heart broken. I remember the last time, I had to console you for weeks.”

Nate flushes, remembering how Matt had found him crying in his bed one morning when he didn’t show up for breakfast. It was a hard few weeks as he tried to pick up the pieces of a broken heart. But just because he fell too deeply once didn’t mean it would happen again, not after he made a promise to himself to be more careful.

“I promise I’m not going to fall in love with him, Matt. I just need more friends than you.”

“Seriously? I am a  _ great _ friend.”

“I didn’t say that you weren’t, I just said I needed more friends,” Nathan points out. 

“Well, don’t say that I told you so when you come crying to me about him not feeling the same way about you.”

“I won’t, because nothing is going to happen.”

“Just finish your dinner, Nathan.”

* * *

Tyson grew up wanting to be a knight when he was younger, just like every other boy. But once he saw the realities of it, and overheard stories from his dad’s friends, he decided that a moment of glory was not worth risking his life. And he never wanted to be at the orders of the crown, not in a way where he would have to fight or kill someone.

So, instead, he decided to follow in his mother’s footsteps and become a baker. The family shop has always been a small one, but one loved by the people. They do their best to help the community, and in turn, the community helps them. It is this reputation that brings the royal family to the doorstep of the shop on a sunny summer morning.

“We have heard many good things from our staff,” King Rowan says, as he and his family enter the shop, as well as some of the guards.

“Oh, well, I’m happy that your staff has enjoyed our goods,” Tyson replies, feeling a bit faint. “Is there any way that I might help you and your family today?”

“Yes, we came here first hand to try and see what all of the fuss is about. Children, take a look and let me know what you want,” King Rowan says.

The family takes a look at the displays, and they all pick some sweets. After the king pays for everything, he leaves a rather large tip. Tyson tries to deny the extra payment, but King Rowan is insistent on the payment. He’s grateful for it, in the end, because it helps provide a safety net during the months where there’s less money to support the bakery.

In the following months, the royal family returns several times, and each time King Rowan leaves a large payment. All of this means a safety net for the bakery, as well as being able to give back to the community in bigger ways. Eventually, the king asks Tyson to speak privately. So, he takes the king to one of the back rooms, with a guard standing watch.

“Is there a concern about the bakery?” Tyson asks, worried.

“No, in fact, it is quite the opposite,” King Rowan answers, a twinkle in his eyes. “My family is quite impressed with your skills, and my staff have nothing but good things to say about you. They trust you deeply as well.”

“Oh, well, thank you,” Tyson replies, thankful. “Is there something else?”

“Would the shop suffer if you were no longer working here?”

“Well, my mother and I have been training a couple of apprentices, but not to take over the shop. But I suppose that could change if needed.”

“I have spoken with the kitchen staff within the castle, and it has been decided that having another baker would only be a good addition to the staff, especially one with your talents.”

“Oh, well, I can’t take all of the credit,” Tyson replies, awkwardly. “I’ve had much help with my mother and the apprentices.”

“But you are the one that my staff and the people in this kingdom trust. So, it is to you that I offer this position.”

“Would I be able to think about this and talk about it with my family? I don’t wish to make a decision without speaking to them first.”

“Of course you may,” King Rowan says. “I will send down someone tomorrow to bring word to me of your decision.”

And with that, King Rowan and his family head back to the castle. Tyson is unsure of what to think about all of this. With the royals visit to the bakery, things have been going well for his whole family. They were financially secure before, but now they are able to give back more than ever. The apprentices were also doing well, much better than expected.

When he broaches the topic with his parents, they are overjoyed and insist that he takes the position. Both are insistent that they can train anyone to take over the bakery, but an opportunity to have security within the castle is not replaceable. So, that is how Tyson finds himself trying to settle into a new life on the castle staff.

Colin is one of the lead bakers and is extremely helpful as Tyson learns to navigate a new workspace. There’s a lot to take in, especially with how fast everything moves. He’s used to moving at his own pace, not worried about making deadlines. But now everything depends on him finishing tasks on time.

“You get used to it after a while,” Colin says one morning. “I know that’s a stupid thing to say, but it’s true.”

“I hope I get used to it,” Tyson replies. “I just...wasn’t expecting this. It’s a lot to get used to, especially since I’m so used to things at my family’s bakery.”

Colin nods, and then moves onto showing Tyson another recipe that he absolutely has to know. There’s so much to remember and take in, that he feels like he hardly registers any of it. Time passes quickly, and before he knows it, his first couple of weeks have passed. He’s hardly met any of the other staff besides those that work within the kitchen.

But one day, he meets two men out in the staff dining area as he’s looking for Colin. He doesn’t catch either of their names, but one of them seems about his age, if not a little bit younger. The other one is much older, and the two look to be friends. As Tyson goes back into the kitchen, he slips back into a panic over what to bake for the ball that’s happening in a month.

“I heard that you met Nathan MacKinnon and Matt Calvert,” Colin says, as he seemingly appears out of nowhere.

“I did?” Tyson replies, a bit confused. “Also, where did you run off to?”

“I was just checking in with the guard to confirm the meals for tomorrow,” Colin explains. “And they were the two sitting out in the dining area.”

“Oh, well, then I suppose I did.”

“And?”

“And what? They seem nice enough, I guess.”

“That’s it?”

“I had a conversation that hardly lasted a minute, I don’t think that’s enough to gather anything else,” Tyson snorts.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll be seeing them around plenty. Nathan is set to be one of the new messengers soon enough, and they usually start new messengers off on kitchen runs.”

Tyson nods. “Okay, well that would be nice, I suppose. But I really wanted to ask you about the ball coming up next month. I’m still not sure about all of this.”

Colin sighs, rolling his eyes a little, but sets up to explain everything again. Tyson hasn’t been here for a full month yet, and has no experience in large events, it would only make sense that there’s an underlying panic to everything he’s doing. If this all goes wrong, it could mean losing his job at the castle and a ruined reputation, not only for himself, but his family as well.

* * *

Nathan groans, not wanting to go back to training with the horses. He’s not really sure what the point is, seeing as he can get from place to place easy enough. With all of the training that he’s receiving, it feels like there’s some underlying expectation that isn’t being told to him. Whenever he asks Matt about it, he’s told the same thing of it being ‘just in case’.

“I’m going to be so sore tomorrow,” Nathan groans, as he sits down with his lunch. “I know you keep telling me that all of this is good to know, but when am I going to be asked to do any of this?”

Matt shrugs. “As you very well know, it’s best to be over prepared than to not have enough training. More than likely, you will not be asked to do most of what you’re being trained to do, but it’s good to know that you have the skills you do.”

“I wish I knew that this was going to be worse than farm work before I came here,” Nathan sighs.

“Well, nobody said that working within the castle was easy. But at the rate you’re at, I’m sure you’ll be asked to run your first message soon enough. I always put in a good word for you with the head of staff when he asks about your progress.”

“Thank you,” he says softly.

Their meal passes in silence, until there’s a loud crashing coming from the kitchen, with a loud curse from presumably dropping everything. Nathan gets up to help, but Matt shakes his head. Sighing, he sits back down, but glances back at the kitchen, concerned. He has to remember to not get involved when he doesn’t need to. Matt has reminded him multiple times that it would hurt his chances of becoming a messenger.

“I know you want to be a good person, and I can’t fault you for that. But...be careful, okay? One misstep and you’ll be thrown out without a piece of gold to your name and a ruined reputation,” Matt explains to him, after seeing the worry in Nate’s face. “I know that you know this, but I don’t want you to have worked so hard just for that to happen.”

“It’s just...why can’t I help something like somebody dropping something?” Nathan replies, agitated. 

“Because you don’t know the full story.”

Nate frowns, but doesn’t say anything else. This is a well-worn argument between the two of them, and something that is still a point of contention. He still sees no harm in just checking up on the issues. If something happens to be truly wrong, and something he shouldn’t get involved with, then he would take a step back. But for something this small and insignificant?

Once Nathan and Matt are gathering their dishes and leaving them in the pile of dirty dishes, Tyson comes walking out, looking meek. He smiles softly at the two messengers, before gathering the dishes.

“Is everything okay?” Nathan asks. 

“Oh yes, everyone is just so panicked for next month. I promise nothing is wrong,” Tyson assures.

Before Nathan can say anything else, Tyson is scurrying off back into the kitchen. Sighing, he walks out of the dining area, with Matt following him quietly. Nathan knows that he has a big heart, and it’s always been something that he appreciated about himself. But everything about this job is telling him to ignore caring about others.

“Let’s head to the gardens to calm down a little,” Matt says softly, heading off to the royal flower gardens.

Nathan just frowns, but follows without deciding to argue. The silence is intimidating, especially coming from Matt, who is normally so easy to carry a conversation with. And to talk in the gardens means that there is something that needs to be addressed privately. Nobody goes to the gardens if they don’t have a secret to hide.

Once they are in the depths of the maze of flowers, Matt shifts his gaze to Nathan, pinning him in his spot. He waits for the older man to say something, though, so he keeps his mouth shut and waits out the silence.

“Nathan, how many times do I have to tell you to not let your heart get in the way?” Matt inquires, displeasure seeping through his voice.

“I don’t see what the big issue was! I was just wanting to check to make sure that everyone was okay and if they needed help.”

“They’re kitchen staff, they deal with things like dropped dishes all the time. You just happen to not be there when it happens.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t want to check in and help them. I don’t see the harm in wanting to help other members of staff, I really don’t. We’re all in this together, aren’t we?”

“In this together? Nathan, you know better than this. We are all royal staff, yes, but there’s no common mission besides serving the royal family to the best of our abilities.”

“And helping pick up a couple of dropped dishes would ruin that?” Nathan shouts.

“Look, I know you want to help wherever you can and build good relationships with others, but I need you to be careful. Nathan, we all know you care too much. I just don’t want you taken advantage of,” Matt whispers.

“I know that you’re looking out for me, and you’re doing an amazing job. But I promise you that going to check in on small things won’t ruin everything I’ve done so far. Just...I want to help, it’s why I took this job.”

“You’re a good man. Don’t let them ruin that, no matter what.”

“I can’t make any promises, but I’ll do my best, I promise.”

“Okay,” Matt says, clearly hesitant. 

And so the days blur into each other yet again, and Nathan doesn’t think much of Tyson. He doesn’t see the baker again, and there seem to be no more incidents in the kitchen while he’s grabbing a meal. Matt seems to be getting more convinced that Nathan will have his first real test as a messenger soon, and it keeps him motivated through the long days.

It’s a rare day off for Nathan, so he gets to the kitchens a bit later than he normally would for breakfast. Most of the good food is already gone, but the slim pickings are worth the extra couple hours of rest that he’s normally not given. There’s the usual noises coming from the kitchen, but Nathan does his best to keep an ear out for Tyson.

“Oh, I thought everyone was done with breakfast,” a familiar voice says.

Nathan looks over and smiles when he sees Tyson. “I had the chance to sleep in a little, so I’m here later than I normally would be.”

“Well, I hope you got something decent. I know there’s been slim pickings lately.”

“The extra sleep is worth the cold porridge.”

Tyson laughs a little at that. “To make up for that, I could maybe have you try something I’m making for the ball that’s happening in a couple of weeks?”

“If you wouldn’t mind,” Nathan says, blushing a little.

“Give me a moment and I’ll bring it over,” Tyson replies, before heading back into the kitchen.

Nathan sighs, knowing that Matt would be giving him a look if he was here right now. But he’s not, so he decides to take the chance to talk to Tyson. Despite the warnings given to him, Nathan is sure that nothing will come of getting to know a fellow member of the royal staff, especially one that was brought in from the outside. If going behind Matt’s back is what he has to do to get to know Tyson, then he’ll do it.

Finally, Tyson comes out with a plate that has several small pieces of what looks to be fancy dessert. None of it looks similar to what Nathan has had before, but it’s not like royal staff are afforded much luxury, and his life on the farm didn’t allow for anything besides practicality. So his opinion might not be the best to give, but if he’s being offered free food, he isn’t one to turn it down.

“Colin already told me these were good, and while I know that he wouldn’t lie to me...I just want to make sure they taste fine from someone who doesn’t know baking,” Tyson explains nervously.

Nathan picks up a small piece of cake and plops it in his mouth. He nearly groans from pleasure with how good it tastes. Now he fully understands why the king was insistent on bringing Tyson into the royal kitchen staff. If this is only the tip of the iceberg, well, he couldn’t wait to find out more.

“This tastes amazing,” Nathan says, after swallowing. “If everything you’ve made tastes half as good as that, I’m sure you’ll be the most loved member on the staff.”

Tyson flushes at that, but looks silently pleased. “Well, I’m not sure about that.”

Nathan snorts at that. “Please, you have nothing to worry about that. Besides, Colin knows what he’s talking about. I know he looks young, but he’s been around for long enough to know what the king likes. And the king brought you in personally, I think that should be testament enough.”

“I know, I just don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

“And you won’t. Just have to keep up the good work.”

Tyson rolls his eyes. “Try the other things I brought out, you might be changing your mind after you try them.”

Nathan just laughs before trying the other sweets, each one equally as good as the last one. He makes that clear to Tyson, and he notices the slightly blush each time Tyson is complimented. Something tells Nathan that the baker really likes compliments. 

“Well, thank you for letting me try them. I’m honestly not sure if I really helped all that much, but it did make up for the cold porridge,” Nathan says.

“Oh, well, it was really no problem at all. An outside opinion is always nice.”

“I suppose I should let you get back to work. It was nice to finally talk to you properly, Tyson.”

“Of course, Nathan. I’m sure I’ll see you around?”

“I’ll make sure of it.”

Tyson smiles brightly, and then sweeps off to the kitchen again. If Nathan is being honest, the baker does have a rather nice smile to look at. And so he leaves, hoping for a tentative acquaintance with Tyson. He also keeps it in mind that he’ll probably have to sneak around Matt to be able to talk to Tyson, but that’s something he’s willing to do.

As the next few weeks pass, Nathan does his best to try and find Tyson. It’s hard in between all of the training and Matt always hovering, but they manage time to meet briefly. Tyson grows more panicked the closer the ball gets, and Nathan does his best to try and calm him down. In the grand scheme of things, this ball is nothing more than another show of trying to include the kingdom in life at the castle.

It’s three days before the ball, and Nathan is grabbing breakfast on an off-day. Tyson, having memorized when he has his days off, shows up a few minutes later with a plate of things that have been prepared for the ball. He’s been assured multiple times by Tyson that a few missing pastries won’t be missed.

“Are you ready for this one?” Tyson asks excitedly.

“Not even slightly,” Nathan says, smiling.

When he takes a bite into the lemon tart, he groans loudly. Tyson flushes, but makes no comment, knowing that his dessert is well received. Knowing that it won’t make him look any better, Nathan shoves the rest of it in his mouth.

“Well, there goes my hope of you enjoying it slowly,” Tyson sighs.

Nathan snorts. “Please, you know my manners aren’t the best.”

“Yes, I suppose you were raised on farm manners, and then they never left.”

“I feel like I should be offended by that.”

“Don’t be, it’s rather enduring. Consider it a nice reminder for myself that I’m not the only person who wasn’t raised within the castle walls.”

“Yeah, it is nice,” Nathan says softly.

“Well, I guess I should get going now. There’s a lot to do, and I’m sure that you’re busy as well, even on an off day. I’ll see you around?”

“Tyson, are we friends?” Nathan blurts out.

“Oh, um, I guess so. I don’t find myself bringing pastries out for anyone else.”

Nathan smiles softly at that. “Okay, good. I’ll see you around then.”

* * *

In all honesty, Tyson was not expecting Nathan MacKinnon to be the kind hearted man that he is. He looks like a young man, out of place and not knowing what to do. But Nathan has been nothing but amiable and considerate. And Tyson isn’t dumb, he’s overhead Matt talking about how big Nathan’s heart is and how he falls too hard.

But...it’s good to know someone else outside of the kitchen staff. Not that they aren’t wonderful people, but after seeing them constantly, it starts to get a bit old. So, Tyson does everything he can to try and keep Nathan interested in coming back and talking to him. If bringing pastries he most definitely should not be handing out to staff members is how he does it, then so be it.

Colin most definitely notices, but only smirks when Tyson tries to hide small bits and pieces in his pockets. It’s probably not helping his case of ‘I swear I’m not in love with him, I just want a second opinion’ argument, but he’s insistent that it’s nothing more than wanting another friend.

“You know, we won’t shame you if you’re in love with him,” Colin says, as they’re ending the baking for the day. “He’s a bit dumb, but he’s a good man. Has been nothing but respectful to everyone here.”

“I’m not in love with him,” Tyson mumbles.

“Sure, whatever you say, new kid. But he deserves to have someone that’s good to him. Watching his heart get broken a couple years back was one of the hardest things I had to watch. It was like seeing a kicked puppy.”

Tyson looks over at Colin curiously. Sighing, Colin motions for him to take a seat.

“I mean, it was nothing serious, but it’s not like Nathan knew that. He’s the type to fall in deep when he’s in love. Pretty sure that kid doesn’t know how to do things by halves. It’s why Matt is so protective of him. The guy was just looking for someone to warm his bed at the end of the day,” Colin explains.

“So...you think I’m going to break his heart?” Tyson inquires. “Because I’m not going to, all I want is to be friends with him.”

“That’s not the point. What I’m trying to tell you is that you need to be clear and upfront with him, otherwise he’ll give you his whole heart, and without knowing any better, you’ll tear it all to shreds. Tell him that all you want is to be friends with him.”

“If you say so,” Tyson replies, hesitant. “I don’t want him to take it the wrong way, though.”

Colin shrugs. “If he does, then he does. But he won’t be spiteful if he’s heartbroken over it. So, it’s better just to tell him. Saves you a mess.”

Tyson is unsure about it, but he decides to think about it. As kind as Nathan is, no person appreciates having their heart broken. Their friendship is new, and still fragile, so he wants to hold back and assess Nathan for himself. There is still uncertainty between the two of them, which is only normal between two people still learning each other. And with that, he pushes it to the back of his mind, and goes back to prepping pastries for the ball. 


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Tyson and Nathan grow closer, Nathan finally gets his first official mission with Matt. Despite all of the training Nathan has gone through, he's still nervous, wanting to prove that he's ready to become a fully fledged messenger. However, this mission doesn't exactly pan out how he imagined it.

_“I cannot hide myself from you. I cannot hide my heart from my heart.”_

In the end, Tyson never does bring it up with Nathan. The time never felt right, especially with the chaos leading up the ball. And then it seemed as if they barely saw each other with how much Nathan suddenly had on his plate. Tyson never wanted to sour their brief moments together with a possible heartbreak, so he blindly hoped that everything would be okay.

And things have been going well. There’s been a few times where they have been able to meet outside of the kitchens after dinner, and before they go to bed. Those moments are strangely intimate, with Nathan seeming much softer than any other time that Tyson has seen him. As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, he can feel himself grow fonder of Nathan every day.

“Tyson, are you free later this evening?” Nathan asks one morning. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“I should be free after finishing dinner. I think it’s Colin’s turn to prepare for tomorrow,” Tyson answers, worry lacing his voice.

“Okay, meet me in the gardens, right where the maze of roses starts,” Nathan says. “I’m sorry I can’t say more, but I have to go.”

And with that, Nathan is leaving the kitchens with a serious look on his face. The seriousness is what worries Tyson the most. It’s rare that Nathan is ever serious, always having a small smile on his face. As the day wears on, he thinks back on what Colin told him about Nathan falling hard and fast.

Tyson truly hopes that this isn’t a confession of sorts because he’s not ready to confront that yet. Nathan is very firmly in the friend category, but Tyson can see himself growing to love him one day. However, that time is not now. Not when they barely know each other and hardly have any semblance of having their lives together.

The day passes by in a blur and it’s hard for him to focus. Colin ends up sending him out early, knowing that keeping him around will only cause more damage. So, he slowly makes his way to the beginning of the maze and awkwardly stands around until Nathan shows up, looking stressed.

“Is everything okay?” Tyson asks, concerned. 

“I...yes, I think so,” Nathan answers. “Can we just…”

Nathan jerks his head towards the maze and Tyson gets what he’s trying to say. The gardens, and especially the maze, are the best form of privacy you can get in the whole castle. So, they wander through the endless flowers until they find a bench they can sit on.

“I have my first official trip with Matt happening in two weeks,” Nathan says softly.

“Isn’t this what you’ve been trained for?”

“Yes, but I’m scared that I’m going to mess it up. If this goes wrong, then it’ll ruin everything for me. My family name will be tarnished and coming here will have been for nothing.”

“Nathan, from what I understand, you’ve been training for this for over ten years now. You’ve learned everything you can and it’s time to put it into practice. From what I know about Matt, he wouldn’t let you do this if he didn’t think that you were ready.”

“You think so?”

“Of course I do. I know we haven’t had too much time to become friends, but I do know that you’re someone who has worked hard to get to where he’s at, Nathan MacKinnon.”

He smiles softly. “I’m glad you think that.”

It’s silent for a few moments as Tyson has a moment to process what Nathan told him. If this was his first real mission, then there’s no telling how long he might be gone, or what might happen. And it terrifies Tyson more than he wants to admit. Even though they aren’t the closest of friends, he still feels a kinship with Nathan. 

“Is it going to be dangerous?” Tyson asks quietly.

“I’m not sure. I just know that we’re going to the kingdom of Dha to deliver something to the royal family there. I’m not being told anything until the day we leave.”

“That’s far.”

Nathan looks at him sadly. “Yes, it is. I’m not sure how long we’ll be gone, it could easily be a couple of months before we are able to come back here. Just depends on everything that happens.”

“Oh,” Tyson whispers. “I...will you be able to send letters? It’s just...you’re my one friend here, besides Colin.”

“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll do my best. Things might get hard when we get to Dha, especially since I don’t want to be seen as trying to conspire against their royal family. Which means you won’t be able to write to me, but the least I can do is try to keep you updated.”

“That makes sense. I know that we haven’t gotten awfully close in the last few months, but I still consider you a good friend. I’ll take anything you’re willing to give to me.”

Nathan smiles softly at that. “It’s good to have another friend here. Matt is a good man, and I know that he’s doing his best to make sure I have a future here. But sometimes...I need someone who isn’t there for guiding me. I’ll do my best to make sure I come back for you, Tyson.”

Quietly, Nathan stands and starts to leave the maze of flowers. Tyson follows suit, and doesn’t break the silence. He’s going to miss the easy conversations they have and the brightness that Nathan brings to his day. But he also knows how important this mission is to his friend, and that this will be a more common experience once Nathan is appointed to a proper messenger.

“I don’t know why I’m so scared,” Nathan whispers as they get close to the maze’s exit. “This is everything I wanted and trained for. I shouldn’t be afraid, you know?”

“This is the first real test of your skill. When I had to bake for the ball, I was a wreck. I mean, you saw me. But I knew that if I messed this all up, then everything would be ruined. And as you said, you’ve trained for this. Matt wouldn’t have let you go on this mission if you weren’t ready.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“I know that I’m right,” Tyson replies, smiling. “I know that it doesn’t help much, but I believe in you. I’ve seen how hard you work and how much you try. Besides, the first test is always the hardest. I’m sure that you’ll work this all out.”

“Thank you for being such a good friend,” Nathan says softly, before bringing him into a tight hug.

Tyson isn’t sure how long they stand there, holding each other tightly. But he feels better when they pull apart. As terrifying as this is for Tyson to see his friend go off on his first mission, he can only imagine how scared Nathan is. No amount of training can take that fear away. So in that moment, Tyson decides to do everything he can to ease the fear within his friend.

“You’ll do amazing, Nathan. I’m sure of it,” Tyson says. “Now, we should get back to the castle before anybody gets suspicious.”

Nathan snorts. “You could just say Matt, you know.”

“Felt like it was implied, but thank you for saying it.”

“I’ll be sure to come see you before I leave. I’m sorry I can’t promise you more than I already have.”

“As long as you come back to me alive, everything else doesn’t matter as much. I’m not sure I can take just having Colin around for the rest of my life.”

Nathan snorts. “In that case, I’ll make sure to be extra careful.”

“Well, I’ll see you around then.”

Nathan smiles softly, before nodding and walking off. Tyson knows that he has no right caring for someone he essentially knows nothing about. But Nathan is still one of his closest friends, even when considering his life before joining the royal staff. Seeing his friend so unsure of himself also reminds Tyson how young he truly is. Barely twenty-five, but still carrying so much weight on his shoulders.

As Tyson makes his way back to his room, he thinks back onto what Colin told him about Nathan falling a bit too hard for people he truly cares about. There’s a small part of him that wonders if that has already happened, but he brushes it off. They barely know each other, but in the grand scheme of things, he feels himself not really caring about that. For now, Tyson is content with his friendship with Nathan and the way things are now.

* * *

The day of Nathan leaving approaches much faster than Tyson wants. Nathan does his best to visit him more, but their visits never last long, with both of them needed to be in various places. By the time Nathan is ready to go, Tyson can feel himself anxiously fretting.

“Matt told me that this shouldn’t take more than six weeks, and most of this is travel time. All we have to do is deliver a message, and then we are free to go,” Nathan explains. “And we might stay a couple nights in the castle to wait for a response from the king, but that should be the only delay.”

“And what if the king doesn’t like messages? What then?” Tyson inquires, nervous.

“If he does anything to us, it could spark a war with Besiral. I doubt he would want to start another war.”

“He’s a king, he could easily have your death covered up.”

“Nothing is going to happen, Tyson, I promise. I wouldn’t be sent on such a dire mission as my first test.”

“But what if you are? What if that’s part of the test.”

“Well, Matt is going to be with me. I promise he won’t let anything bad happen.”

“Okay,” Tyson says, hesitant.

“I’ll write to you as soon as I can.”

Tyson nods, trying not to cry. Nathan brings him into a tight hug, and he can feel himself melting into it. He hides his face in Nathan’s shoulder, and breathes in deeply, trying to memorize every small detail about his friend. He tries to remember the strength in how tightly he’s holding Tyson, the smell of the flowery soap that is provided to staff, and the soft edges of his short hair. In the best case scenario, it’ll be six weeks before Tyson can feel any of this again.

“I’m going to miss you,” Nathan whispers softly. “Take care of yourself.”

“It’s hard to mess up in my job,” Tyson replies, just as quietly. “Come back to me soon, Nathan.”

Nathan pulls back at that, and wipes away the tears that had fallen from Tyson’s eyes. There’s a brief moment where Tyson considers leaning in and kissing him, but that wouldn’t be fair to either of them. Not when Nathan is about to leave, and most definitely not when Tyson isn’t even sure of his feelings.

So, Nathan pulls back fully, and he feels like there’s disappointment in his friend’s eyes. But he ignores it, not wanting to have his last memory with Nathan be a bad one. Once he comes back, he and Tyson will have plenty of time to figure out where they stand with each other.

“I suppose this is it. I’ll see you soon, Tyson, I swear it.”

And with that, Nathan is leaving the dining area, a serious look on his face. Tyson wants to cry and hide in his room, but he has a job to do. So, he marches back into the kitchen, trying to look like his heart isn’t breaking into a million tiny pieces. Colin gives him a concerned look, but doesn’t say anything.

Before Tyson can make a run for it at the end of the day, Colin catches him and drags him into a quiet corner of the dining hall. He debates not saying anything, but he knows that he needs to talk about this with someone, and Colin is the only person that he trusts.

“Does you looking like you got your heartbroken have anything to do with Nathan leaving today?” Colin inquires, straight forward as always.

“Yes, but it’s because I’m confused,” Tyson answers. “I don’t want to see anything bad happen to him. He’s the first person who’s wanted to become my friend just because he wants to. You’re a wonderful friend, Colin, but we wouldn’t be so close if we weren’t both kitchen staff.”

“Nathan is a messenger, his job is dangerous because it depends on diplomacy. I know the uprising happened over a hundred years ago, but relations are still shaky at best. But he wouldn’t be on his first serious mission if he wasn’t ready.”

“That’s what he said as well,” Tyson whispers.

“Well, it must be true then. I trust Matt, he’s had more experience dealing with kingdom rivalries than anyone else.”

“I know, I still fear for him. I guess I just wasn’t expecting something so serious to be his first test I suppose.”

“It’s the only way to truly test his ability. If he can manage this without destroying the weak alliance, then he can manage simple things around the castle. As long as he gets the worst of it out of the way first, Nathan will survive everything else,” Colin explains. “But there’s something else, isn’t there?”

“I...maybe,” Tyson whispers. “I almost kissed him today before he left.”

“But you didn’t.”

“No, it wouldn’t be fair to either of us. He’s leaving for god knows how long and I don’t even know if I like him beyond being friends.”

Colin snorts. “Well, you’ll have the next six weeks at the very least to sit on it and think about it. But I would caution you on the simple fact that you barely know each other. I know there’s some type of connection there, but there’s still much you have to learn about each other. I’ve told you how Nathan is, so there’s no point in rushing things.”

“You’re right. I just fear that now I won’t be able to tell him anything.”

“He’s going to come back, Tyson, I promise.”

Tyson sighs deeply, before nodding.  
  


* * *

Nathan feels like a ball of nerves as he and Matt leave for Dha. The border isn’t too far away, only two weeks by horse, but the capitol is another week of travel through the kingdom. Matt assures them that their travel will not be impeded by anything major, as they are simply diplomats delivering a message.

Still, he’s nervous about it all. One misstep and everything that the two kingdoms have worked so hard for the last hundred years will be ruined. It’s a heavy weight to place on someone, much less someone who has never faced the possibility so far. He’s so caught up in his thoughts for most of the day, and it passes in a blur.

As they set up camp for the night, Matt keeps a close eye on him. Things are safe for now, still within the safety net of their own kingdom. Logically, Nathan knows that now is the time to feel safe and not be worried about a thing.

“It’s okay to be nervous, Nathan, but you can’t show that fear, not when so much depends on us being calm,” Matt says as they sit by the fire.

“I know, and I’m doing my best. It’s just weird to think that the time is already here for me to try and prove myself.”

“All messengers have been in your place before. The crown would not have you carrying this task out if you haven’t proved your worth to us. Hell, I wouldn’t have been training you for all this time if I didn’t think you could do this.”

“I think that’s what scares me the most,” Nathan whispers. “I don’t want to disappoint any of you. So much effort has been put into training me, and I don’t want that to go to waste.”

“As long as you remain calm when it matters the most, then we have done our job well.”

They sit in silence, listening to the fire. Nathan processes that information, and sits with it for a little while. And then his mind drifts to Tyson, thinking about how much he wanted to kiss him today. Despite everything, he knows that his heart has fallen a little bit in love with the baker. He knows that it’s too soon to say anything about it, but it makes him want to make sure that this mission is carried out safely.

“You’re thinking about something important,” Matt says.

“Oh, um, yes,” Nathan replies awkwardly. 

“Would that something happen to be Tyson?”

Nathan blushes. “Am I that obvious?”

“Yes, but only because I know you. Didn’t I warn you to not fall too quickly?”

“You did, but...it’s been a long time since I’ve had a friend like Tyson. I’ve been so focused on becoming a good messenger that I let everything fall to the wayside.”

“Do you suppose that’s why you’re falling in love with him? Because he’s your first real friend in a long time.”

That makes Nathan pause for a moment. Matt has a point, and he feels defensive about it, but there is a fact in that. With how much Nathan has pushed himself to get to this point, he’s tried hard to not let his emotions get in the way, especially with how his last attempt at a relationship went. 

“You’re not wrong, and I guess I can’t really decide right now. All I know is that I care deeply for Tyson and nothing about that is going to change, not right now.”

“And I wouldn’t expect you to change it. I just need you to think rationally. You’re in an important phase of your life right now, and while the crown tends to turn a blind eye to certain relationships, they will not hesitate to get involved. Not when it could ruin their reputation.”

“Isn’t that part of what the uprising was about? We’re staff, we have no impact on important bloodlines, nor are we expected to have children.”

“It is, but you know that people fall back into old thinking without people constantly pushing back. And the uprising is why they turn a blind eye most of the time, as they don’t want history to repeat. But you’re a messenger, Nathan, and you are a political pawn, even if you don’t want to admit it.”

“This isn’t what I signed up for.”

“And yet here you are. It is too late to change your mind, but you can still be happy.”

“I feel like there’s an implication there.”

“You can be happy without Tyson. I know you don’t want to hear that, but you can make a life without him. But if you decide to move things further, you’ll have to be careful.”

“I hate this,” Nathan whispers. 

“As you should. But know that you are lucky. The fact that the crown is willing to turn a blind eye, not everyone gets that luxury. People are still angry, and things are aiming to boil over again if things are not changed. It’s why we must be careful, otherwise our lives are on the line.”

“You would think that they would have learned by now.”

“If only royal families learned, that would be a miracle.”

Nathan snorts, and then the conversation turns quiet again. His mother always called him hopeful as a young boy, and that’s obviously carried over into his adult life. He knows the reality of how things turned out, but Nathan always hopes for the best, knowing that he’s naive because of it. It’s a dangerous thing to be, especially now.

“We should be getting to bed now. There’s an early start tomorrow morning if we want to stay on schedule,” Matt says.

Sighing, Nathan heads over to the bed mat, but lays there, thinking about the conversation with Matt. With so much to consider, he stays up longer than he should. By the time the sun rises in the morning, he feels more exhausted than he did before falling asleep.

“Don’t worry, you get used to it,” Matt says as they ride towards their next destination. “Exhaustion just becomes a part of you and you learn to ignore it.”

“Not sure if I like that,” Nathan comments.

“Neither do I, but it’s a small reality of the job. Besides, it makes you appreciate your bed back at the castle all that much more. It’s a small comfort to think of.”

Nathan rolls his eyes, which causes Matt to laugh. They talk a little bit about the coming days and weeks, and what Nathan is to expect the closer they get to the border. While things are calm between the kingdoms at the moment, there’s still tension leftover from the uprising. Many of the villagers welcomed the change, but were still bitter that the royal family didn’t give in to more demands, even a hundred years later.

So, messengers were looked at as valuable because they could be the ones to slightly change what was being told to the royals. There have been many threats on messengers' lives at border crossings, but they aren’t overly common. It’s still something that concerns Nathan, however.

The days heading to the border start to blur into each other, and Nathan is grateful for that. He starts to feel the nervousness build, and Matt does his best to calm down Nathan. Things are relatively peaceful, but something about that just unnerves him even more.

“I guess I was just expecting more drama or something,” Nathan says one night. “All the stories made me think that something else was going to happen.”

“You hear stories all the time because it means something happened. Nobody ever talks about the times that nothing happened,” Matt points out.

“You’re right,” Nathan sighs. “If the rest of the mission happens like this, I suppose it won’t have gone all that bad.”

“We can only hope that things go like this. Only time and delivering the message will tell.”

“You never did tell me what the letter says, you know.”

“Nathan, you know why you don’t know. The less people know, the better.”

“Makes no sense that this is my first mission and I don’t even know what it’s for,” Nathan snorts. “Feels a bit counterproductive.”

“This is more of a test to see how well you handle pressure. The crown and other royal staff will trust you with more once they see how you react to all of this.”

“So many steps,” Nathan groans. “And don’t say that I should know better because I do. I just want to complain a little bit.”

Matt laughs. “I suppose it’s best to get it all out of the way now in trusted company.”

“Thank you for understanding me in these difficult times,” Nathan jokes. 

The following morning, Nathan notices they’re due to pass through a town that has messengers that stop by the royal city of Besiral. Remembering his promise to Tyson, he convinces Matt to stop briefly so he can drop off the letter he had slowly been writing over the past week. Thankfully, Matt simply just rolls his eyes before accepting the fact that Nathan would stop there, no matter what.

“We’re awfully close to the border, so I don’t think you’ll be able to send another letter,” Matt points out. “I shouldn’t even be letting you send this one, since it gives away our location.”

“It’s just...I made a promise to him and I don’t want him to think that I forgot,” Nathan explains.

“If this goes where I think that it’s headed, then you’ll both have to learn that during our travels, we must do nothing to alert people of our location. And while I know that you’re fully aware of this, we can’t afford to have your heart get in the way.”

“My heart isn’t getting in the way, Matt.”

“Is that so? I’ve never seen you insist on writing letters before.”

“I don’t break my promises,” Nathan spits out.

“We’re talking about this tonight.”

Nathan just sighs and rides off to the closest messenger, giving him some gold and directions to the castle messengers. The rest of the ride is silent, with Matt obviously thinking over how to talk with Nathan. It’s not that he doesn’t get why Matt is frustrated. This job demands a certain amount of care, but he also doesn’t want to ignore the one person he’s gotten close with since he left the farm.

As they sit by the fire that night, Nathan just waits for Matt to collect himself and figure out how to approach the topic at hand. He does his best to try and not become defensive because whatever Matt says, it’s going to be hard to not take it all to heart.

“Nathan, I care about you and that’s why I’m bringing this up at all. As I’ve trained you the last few years as an apprentice, you’ve become like a son to me,” Matt starts of saying. “I see how much heart you put into this work, despite it being so thankless. And I don’t want you to ruin that.”

“Ruin it how? Because I want to write a letter to a friend?”

“We all know how long this mission is going to take and how critical it is that we don’t fuck this up. Writing a letter is a small thing, and while it might not matter now, it might matter in another ten years, when people know that you only carry serious messages for the crown,” Matt explains. “People will be ready to use anything against you, including your friends. So, this just isn’t for the safety of yourself, but the people you care about.”

“I...I guess I never thought about it like that,” Nathan whispers.

“It’s hard, but you have to protect the people you care about. Just keep that in mind for next time, okay?”

“Of course,” Nathan replies.

The rest of the night is passed in somber silence as Nathan thinks about what Matt told him. Right now, his relationship with Tyson is in a grey area where he feels like there’s the potential for something, but he’s not even really sure of who the other man is. So, Nathan makes a promise to himself to try harder after this mission to get to know his friend better.

Before he knows it, they’ve passed the border into Dha, and while things aren’t outright hostile, Nathan can feel the general distrust. But he guesses that even a hundred years later, the mistrust is still carried throughout the people who felt the impact of the uprising the hardest. Matt does his best to redirect them past any villages, but they will have to make a brief stop for supplies. Nathan decides to hang back and just observe Matt, unsure if anything he could do would just make things worse.

“Do you ever get used to it?” Nathan inquires, after they’ve left the village. “I get why they’re hesitant to have messengers from the neighboring village, but…”

“Doesn’t make it any easier when you understand why. And you learn to navigate the situations well enough, especially when you make a point to go to the same villages. People learn who you are and where you might lean idea wise if things got tough.”

Nathan scrunches his eyebrows at that. “Are you saying if things happen like they did?”

“Yes, exactly that. While we work for the crown, our loyalties might not lay with them. Because I know you, Nathan, and if it came down to it, you would pick your family and friends over the king. Am I wrong?”

“No, you’re right. I guess I just never thought about it like that.”

“You’ve never had to think about it before, but it wouldn’t hurt to be more aware of it. Things were not perfectly resolved the first time. And there’s still pockets of unrest throughout the kingdoms.”

“I’ll remember that,” Nathan says softly. 

With the small bits of information that Nathan has been collecting the last couple of weeks, he’s starting to understand more of Matt’s strictness with training. To see the reality of this work is making him appreciate that he’s spent years learning everything he could.

As they get closer to the royal city in Dha, Matt noticeably tenses up and closes off a little bit. Nathan only assumes that it’s a learned thing. So, he does his best to wrangle in his nervousness and anxieties, trying to follow in Matt’s lead. It’s hard, but he doesn’t want to mess things up for either of them. On the day that they’re due to arrive at the castle, Matt looks over at Nathan seriously. 

“I need you to keep quiet until spoken to, Nathan. If they ask you a question, answer as shortly and honestly as you can. I will do as much talking as I can, but I cannot redirect everything to myself without looking suspicious.”

“Okay,” Nathan says weakly. “I’ll do my best.”

Matt nods, and then leads them off to the castle. It’s a somber ride, and one that passes by slowly. The structure of the buildings are very similar to those in Besiral, but the stones are a slightly different color. When they approach, Matt announces their presence to the guard, as well as stating the reason for their presence. 

“The king has been expecting your presence. I will lead you to the waiting room,” a guard says.

So, Nathan and Matt get off the horses and hand them over to a staff member. As they follow the guard into the castle, Nathan does his best to remember the hallways that they’re going down. This was one of the first things that Matt had taught him once he became an apprentice: to always know where he’s being taken.

“Wait here, his majesty is finishing a meeting with the local duke,” the guard says before heading into a large room.

And so the two of them wait in silence as they wait for the king’s meeting to be finished. Matt had also warned Nathan of speaking while they wait for the person they’re delivering the message to. There’s a small chance that they could accidentally let something slip that they shouldn’t. Both know more than anyone how much staff love to gossip, and the best of it always made it into the royals ears.

It seems like it's been ages before they’re ushered into the meeting room with the king. Nathan follows Matt, trying to keep himself calm. The somber environment isn’t exactly how he imagined his first mission, but he supposes that it can’t be that bad. And things go smoothly, with the king dismissing them right after giving him the letter.

“I will send my own messengers when I have a reply,” the king says dismissively. “You can get on your way now.”

With that, Matt leads them both out of the castle in complete silence. And even as they leave the castle and the royal city, he doesn’t say a word. Nathan can sense the tension, but doesn’t say anything. He’s not really sure what the issue was, everything seemed to have gone smoothly. If the king wanted to deliver his own message, that only seemed fair.

It’s only that night when Matt says anything. As per any serious conversation they’ve been having lately, it’s done by the fireside. There’s still some tension carried in Matt’s shoulders, and it’s making Nathan’s anxiety bubble up again. 

“A king wanting to send his own messengers is not that big of a deal, but with this, I am a little worried,” Matt whispers. “I’m sure that you noticed I never told you what the letter said.”

“Yes, but I assumed it was just another safety measure.”

“You’re not wrong. The letter was fairly innocent enough, but it was asking for a royal meeting between the two kings,” Matt explains. “But I can only assume that they’re meeting because there’s been notable unrest in all of the kingdoms. Besitral is trying its best to work with the people to fix things, but a royal family can only do so much alone.”

“You think-”

“Don’t say it,” Matt interjects. “I’m just observing and I could be wrong.”

“Okay,” Nathan says, hesitant.

“Look, I don’t mean to scare you, Nathan, but this is another reason why we must be careful. What might seem like an innocent letter could mean the destruction of everything we know today.”

“I know what you mean, it’s just a lot to actually process. It’s one thing to hear you talk about it, but another to see it in action.”

“I promise that you’ll get used to it. There’s a lot of work involved, but it’ll be worth it. And now we get to go home.”

Nathan smiles, grateful to be headed back home, and to be able to see Tyson again. He barely has time to wipe the grin off his face before he and Matt are attacked.

* * *

Tyson receives a letter from Nathan several weeks after he’s left. At this point, they should be in Dha delivering the message, which means there’s less than a month until they see each other again. He’s been waiting nervously for any sign that Nathan and Matt are okay, and this letter is a godsend. Colin just rolls his eyes, then sends him out to the dining area to read the letter.

_ Dear Tyson, _

_ I hope that this letter finds you well. Matt and I are almost to Dha now, which means there’s only about a month left of this mission. I can’t wait to get back to my own bed, but most importantly, I can’t wait to see you again. I’ve missed you more than I want to admit to myself. _

_ I’m also getting more nervous the closer we get to the border. Seeing how people react to us just as messengers makes me nervous. I guess I never thought about life closer to the border, especially since I lived on a farm before this. I’m hoping that everything goes well, but Matt seems calm enough, so I guess I shouldn’t worry. _

_ Whatever you’re doing, I hope that you’re doing well at it. I miss talking to you everyday and seeing your smile. When I get back, I promise that I’ll be doing better to make sure that we become closer.  _

_ As we get closer to the border, I won’t be able to send contact again. I’m sorry there’s only been this letter so far, but Matt and I needed to be careful. Once we leave Dha, it wouldn’t make sense to send another letter, as we’ll just be headed back. So, we’ll be seeing each other in a month if everything goes as it should. _

_ Love dearly, _

_ Your friend Nathan MacKinnon _

Tyson tears up a little reading the letter. He misses Nathan, more than he should for someone he’s only known for a few months. But he’s a good man, so Tyson feels like he has every right to miss his friend. Before Colin can drag him back into the kitchen, Tyson shoves the letter into one of his pockets and heads back in.

Colin gives him a side eye, but doesn’t say anything. All this tells him is that they’ll be talking after they finish prepping the pastries for the next morning. Thankfully, there’s really not much to tell, besides Tyson feeling too excited over hearing from his friend.

“I could see your heart eyes all afternoon,” Colin comments as they leave the kitchens. “Did he confess his undying love for you in that letter?”

“No, of course not,” Tyson sputters. “We’re just friends and  _ if _ Nathan was going to confess his love to me, I doubt it would be through a letter.”

Colin snorts. “Maybe not a letter while he’s on a mission that’s lasting weeks, but sappy love letters don’t seem too far out of his grasp.”

“Really?”

“Oh, you’re curious now, are you?” Colin jokes.

Tyson blushes. “I mean, I wouldn’t know, I guess I just wanted to know.”

Colin raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure you don’t have feelings for him?”

“Yes, I’m absolutely sure. And nothing's going to happen, Colin, I promise.”

“Now, what did I tell you about making promises that you can’t keep?”

“I’m going to keep this one because nothing is going to happen.”

“Whatever you say,” Colin says, obviously unconvinced. “Well, rest well tonight.”

And Tyson does, with the hope that Nathan is going to return soon enough. As the weeks pass, he gets more tense about his friend’s arrival back to the castle. When a full month passes, Tyson feels like he’s going crazy waiting on Nathan coming back. Each day that he doesn’t come back, Tyson worries that something bad has happened.

“I’m sure they just got delayed,” Colin points out. “Things like this happen all the time, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it. They get back when they get back.”

So, he waits as best as he can, but each day only wears down his nerves. Finally, three weeks after Nathan said that he would be returning, he hears the whispers of a messenger dying. And, well, what else can he do but think that it’s Nathan? Colin keeps glancing at him nervously throughout the day, hinting that he knows something that Tyson doesn’t. Finally, Colin drags him off to a quiet part of the castle, and looks nervously around before speaking.

“I don’t know much of what happened, but I can promise you that it’s not Nathan,” Colin whispers.

“Are you sure?” Tyson replies, just as quietly.

“Yes, because I’ve heard that he’s in the medical ward, getting fixed up. But Matt isn’t with him and nobody has seen him around the castle,” Colin explains.

“I...fuck.”

“Go see your boy, I can hold things down in the kitchen. You wouldn’t be able to focus anyways.”

Tyson nods and starts walking to where Nathan is. He can’t really process what Colin has told him, and everything starts to blur together. Tears fall from his face, and he does his best to wipe them away. When he gets to the medical wards, he’s met with more guards than he’s seen in one area before. That tips him off that something is seriously wrong.

“Who are you here for?” one of the guards asks.

“I’m here for one of my friends, Nathan MacKinnon,” Tyson answers.

“You’re the Barrie kid, correct?”

Tyson nods. “Yes, that would be me.”

“Wait out here, I’ll make sure that you’re able to be let in.”

The few minutes that Tyson is waiting outside feel like an eternity. He’s worried about his friend and what happened to him, and most importantly, why there’s no word of Matt. Finally, the guard comes back outside and let’s him pass through the door. When Tyson makes his way into the medical ward, he sees Nathan propped up on one of the beds, with a nursemaid besides him.

“Tyson,” Nathan croaks out when he sees him standing there. 

“Hi,” Tyson says softly, unsure of what else to say.

“I’ll leave the two of you alone for a few moments to talk,” the nursemaid says. “But I can’t be gone for more than a few minutes before the guards get suspicious.”

“Of course, thank you,” Tyson says, before walking over to sit by Nathan.

“This isn’t the joyous return I thought it was going to be,” Nathan whispers once the nursemaid is gone. “I...Matt didn’t make it.”

And with that, Nathan completely breaks down. Tyson pulls him in, holding his friend tightly as Nathan sobs into his shoulder. They stay like that for a few moments, before Nathan pulls away, wiping away the tears. Losing someone like Matt seemed like an impossible reality, and yet here they are.

“What happened?” Tyson inquires. 

“I’m not really sure. Matt and I had just left Dha and we had made camp for the night. We were talking, just about how things had gone. And then we were attacked, I’m not sure who it was though. I’m sure they fully intended to kill the both of us, but…” Nathan explained.

Tyson gathers him in another hug. “I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I can’t imagine having to witness your friend dying and then making the journey back by yourself.”

“I’m scared,” Nathan whispers. “I don’t know who I am without him, Tyson. He’s been with me almost my entire journey here at the castle. Matt has been my closest friend, the one person I knew I could trust without a doubt. And now he’s gone.”

“I wish I could do more for you,” Tyson says, petting Nathan’s hair.

“You’re doing the best you can, and I trust you too, Tyson. I know we haven’t known each other all that long, but I trust you.”

Before more can be said, the nursemaid comes back in, making plenty of noise so that they’re alerted to her presence. Tyson pulls back, and the urge to kiss Nathan is strong. But now isn’t the right time, not when his friend is grieving the loss of someone so important to him. So, he stands up, gives Nathan an empathetic nod, and makes his way out of the medical ward. It’s in this moment that he makes a promise to himself to do whatever he can to help Nathan.


	3. Chapter Three

_ “I loved you in a way I wished someone would love me.” _

In the days following Nathan’s return, Tyson hardly sees him. There’s obviously the need for him to return to full health, but Nathan is also questioned heavily by the guard. From what Tyson can gather, there’s suspicion that it could have been an attack carried out by the king of Dha. The thought makes Tyson feel uneasy, especially since this was Nathan’s first official mission.

Two weeks pass before he and Nathan get the chance to speak privately in the flower gardens. Nathan is obviously extremely nervous and is visibly on guard. Tyson does his best to remain calm, but he finds it hard, seeing his friend in such distress.

“I’m sorry that you have to see me like this,” Nathan whispers, once they sit down.

“No, you have every right to be nervous and scared,” Tyson replies. “I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now.”

“Sometimes, I forget that Matt is gone and I go looking for him. When I can’t find him, that’s the worst. I start to panic and I lose myself in it,” Nathan explains. “The guard is looking for anything that might hint that Dha’s royal family might have attacked us. But the only person who would know anything about that is  _ dead _ .”

Tyson wraps his friend up in a hug before Nathan starts sobbing. He’s not sure how long they sit there, with Nathan crying his heart out on his shoulder. After a while, Nathan pulls back a little, but keeps some contact between the two of them. 

“Do you think you were purposefully attacked?” Tyson asks, hesitant. 

“I’m not sure, it’s hard to say. But the timing was rather telling. I just...this isn’t what I expected, Tyson. I’ve always known that being killed is a possibility in this job, but to see it happen to someone so close to me was horrible. I will never get that image out of my head.”

“I know it doesn’t mean much, but I will always be here for you, Nathan. Whatever I can do to support you, I will.”

“You’re my only friend here now,” Nathan whispers hoarsely. “I...I don’t know if I can do this anymore, Tyson. I don’t know if I was cut out for this.”

“But you were, Nathan. The fact that you’ve made it this far means you are dedicated to this work and that there’s at least some care for what you do.”

“Matt is gone now, and I have no one left to guide me.”

“There are other messengers, other people who can help you.”

“None of them are Matt,” Nathan spits out. “I don’t trust any of them, not on the same level as him. I’m so close, but I feel so far from my goal.”

“Take some time to think about it. I don’t want you to leave me, to leave this family you’ve become a part of.”

“You say that like you haven’t already become a part of the family here.”

“What, are we family now?”

“Of course we are,” Nathan whispers. “I’ll think about it some more, but...it’s hard. I think of Matt every time I look around this castle, and I want to get away from all the memories. But it’s too late for me to return to the farm. I know nothing of that life anymore.”

“There will always be a place here for you,” Tyson says softly. 

Nathan looks over at Tyson, and his eyes flit down to Tyson’s lips. There’s the temptation to kiss each other, but Tyson knows that now is not the time, not when his friend is experiencing such turmoil. He reminds himself that it won’t be fair to either of them to start a relationship at this time. So, as much as it hurts, he pulls himself away from Nathan.

“Now isn’t the time,” Tyson whispers, when his friend looks hurt. “You have so much else to focus on, and we still hardly know each other.”

“You’re right, but...one day, I promise.”

Tyson laughs a little. “Just wait until you learn more about me. Not sure if you’ll want to keep the promise then.”

“No, I’ll most definitely want to keep the promise then,” Nathan says, a small smile on his face. “I should get going. I have another visit with the nursemaid to talk about how I’m dealing with the loss of Matt. But um...don’t tell anyone I’m visiting her for that. It’s a little bit under the table.”

“I won’t say anything, I swear it,” Tyson replies.

And with that, Nathan is off again to the medical ward. Tyson sighs heavily, wishing that he could do more for his friend. But with the way things stand, all he can do is provide unconditional support and dessert. It’s not much, but it’s what he’s best at, so he promises himself to do what he can.

As Tyson makes his way back to his room, Colin pulls him aside into his room. Tyson is a bit confused, but he assumes that it must be something important if Colin is insistent on having some privacy. This worries him a little though, especially since Colin has been so open previously.

“What’s going on?” Tyson asks, apprehension seeping through his voice.

“It’s about Nathan,” Colin whispers, despite being in his room.

“Is something wrong?”

“Not necessarily,” Colin answers. “It’s just...I might have overheard that he’s going to be promoted to a proper messenger now that Matt is gone.”

“Well, that’s what he wants, so I don’t see how this is going to be a problem,” Tyson points out.

Colin sighs heavily. “You don’t get it. You’ve seen how Nathan is taking all of this. He’s not in a place where he can take big missions again, not while he’s still grieving for his best friend. And if he doesn’t accept it right away, he’ll be stuck running petty missions from the crown for the rest of his career.”

“Oh, I didn’t think about that,” Tyson says, frowning a little. “You seem certain that this is the case.”

“Because I am. I’ve been around long enough to know these things.”

“Well, if you say so.”

“Just look out for him, okay? Because I don’t think he’ll accept help from anyone else.”

“Of course I will,” Tyson whispers. “And I had one more question, just because I’m afraid of asking Nathan about it. I just...don’t want to upset him further.”

Colin scrunches his eyebrows. “What is it?”

“Did Matt have any family? I just never heard him mention them, not like everyone else in the castle. I just...I guess I’m just curious if they’re going to know that he’s dead now.”

“Don’t worry, they know,” Colin says softly, a sad look in his eyes.

“Oh, you know them?” Tyson asks, curiosity peaked.

“You could say that.”

Tyson just nods, knowing that he won’t get anymore answers out of his friend. It truly isn’t important for him to know more, he was just left wondering who would have to be the bearer of bad news. It makes sense that Colin would know, being one of the staff members who overheard more than his fair share of gossip.

“Go get some rest now, Tyson. We have some long days ahead of us, especially with another ball coming up,” Colin says.

“I don’t get why they’re having one so soon,” Tyson replies, scrunching up his nose.

“Because they are royals and they seemingly have nothing better to spend their vast amounts of wealth on. Now go, get some rest. We’ll all need the extra energy in the coming weeks, okay? I’ll see you in the morning.”

Tyson just laughs before leaving Colin’s room. He feels like there’s so much to think about, but everything weighs so deeply on his heart. Seeing how broken Nathan is over the loss of his friend leaves Tyson at a loss of how to help him. There’s only so much that he feels like he can do, because he can’t replace Matt, but like he told Nathan, he’ll be there for him no matter what.

* * *

Nathan feels like an empty shell of a person in the weeks following the death of Matt. His friend dying was never a possibility in his mind, mostly because Matt had seemed so untouchable. Now, Nathan feels like there’s no direction in his life, nobody for him to turn to. The under the table visits to the nursemaid to talk about his grief only help so much.

The brightest parts of his day are when he gets to see Tyson. His friend does his best to support Nathan, and while Matt can never be replaced, he still feels happy to have someone he trusts to lean on at this time. Surprisingly, Colin is also there, providing support and bits of advice. While it’s not something that he expected, Nathan still appreciates it.

One morning, the royal guard escorts him to Bednar’s office. Bednar is the staff member who looks out for all of the messengers, and is in charge of who becomes a messenger. Nathan being summoned to his office can really only mean one thing, and it makes him feel anxious. This is what he’s wanted ever since he’s come to the castle, but if it’s coming at the cost of losing his best friend, well he can’t help if it makes him feel a little sick.

When they enter Bednar’s chancery, he sees the older man finishing a written document at his desk. This only makes Nathan more sure of what’s going to happen during this meeting. As much as he wants to get this job, the whole thing still makes him feel uneasy.

“Good morning, MacKinnon,” Bednar greets. “Feel free to take a seat.”

Nathan nods, and takes a seat across from him. “Good morning, Bednar.”

“I’m sure you know why I called you here today. While it is unfortunate that we have lost Matt, he needs to be replaced. You’ve trained under him long enough for us to be sure of your ability to officially join the ranks of messengers,” Bednar explains. “This is a big deal, and while it may be hard to move forward, you would not be sitting here if you weren’t ready.”

“Thank you, sir,” Nathan says. “I am still grieving the loss of my friend, but I feel ready. He was sure enough of my ability, and I suppose that must be good enough for me now.”

“Of course. Now, we will start you off on small missions, mostly running things throughout the city for the royal family. This is for us to see how well you’re able to handle yourself on missions by yourself. If you are able to prove yourself here, then we will have you start running longer missions. Does this all make sense?”

“Yes sir, it does,” Nathan replies quietly. “When will I start?”

“Not for another few days. I’m going to connect you to another messenger in our ranks who is rather new himself. He’s come from another kingdom, but we trust him. He’ll be the best to help you fold into our ranks.”

“Understood, sir.”

“His name is Nazem Kadri. I assume you take your dinners in the staff dining hall?”

“I do, sir.”

“Then I will have him meet you there tonight. Further instruction will be sent to you when we have an appropriate mission for you.”

“Thank you, sir,” Nathan says, standing up. “I’ll be sure to meet with Nazem tonight, and I will await further instructions.”

Bednar nods, and Nathan takes that for the dismissal it is. He’s nervous about what’s to come, and he’s especially anxious about having Matt replaced already. While Nazem is probably a good man, Nathan can’t help but to be bitter about having to fall under someone else’s wing. It doesn’t feel right to him, but if he wants to continue his work, well, he can’t complain about it.

Nathan hides away for most of the day, and then makes his way to the dining hall in the evening. Tyson catches his eye, but he keeps on moving, not quite ready to talk about things yet. Surely Tyson would understand, so he tries to stomp down the guilt he feels.

“I’m assuming that you’re Nathan?” someone asks, as soon as Nathan sits down.

“Yes, that would be me,” he answers, as he looks up.

Nazem seems around Matt’s age, young but well-seasoned nonetheless. He sits across from Nathan, and gives him an assessing eye. He’s obviously trying to best assess how to start this conversation. It’s then that it hits Nathan how awkward this must be for Nazem. There’s no way that he doesn’t know the long history between Nathan and Matt, it would be hard to miss any of that.

“I know that you don’t want me to be here,” Nazem states. “And to be frank, I really don’t want to be in this situation either. But here we are, nonetheless.”

“What did Bednar tell you?” Nathan inquires, curious.

“He told me about what happened to Matt, and then I asked around about more details. Losing someone you care about is never easy, and I won’t blame you for resenting me. That’s an understandable reaction.”

Nathan smiles a little at that. “I just don’t see the point of promoting me to a full messenger and then giving me someone else to work under.”

“Officially, it’s because they want to make sure that you have someone to go to for any questions,” Nazem explains. “But unofficially, it’s to make sure that you don’t leave the staff.”

“Why would I do that?” Nathan asks, a little confused. “Where else would I go?”

Nazem shrugs. “You lost someone close to you, and you have every right to be angry with the crown about putting the both of you in danger. It wouldn’t be unheard of for you to leave because of your sadness and anger.”

“I’m guessing this is a common theme?”

“Not common, but it’s happened enough in every kingdom for there to be an extra watchful eye on those who have lost someone. So, whatever you do, you have to know that someone will be watching you, or make sure that there’s someone listening in.”

“But...I have never done anything to threaten my relationship with the crown before.”

“Then you will probably have more leeway, and I’m suspecting that you do, since they assigned me to be your mentor. I’m new enough to where even I was suspicious when Bednar brought it up to me.”

“I’m just worried about what all of this means,” Nathan whispered.

“I’ll do my best to look out for you. I’m sure you’ll be fine, but if there’s anything I need to be on the lookout for, let me know.”

Nathan considers telling him about Tyson, but it doesn’t feel like the right time. He knows that Tyson feels the same way about him, but they haven’t even had a proper conversation about what they are to each other. So, he decides against saying anything, not until they’ve decided for sure what they are doing.

“Not yet,” Nathan says.

“You say that as if there’s something I should be worried about,” Nazem points out. 

“I’m honestly not sure if anything is going to come of it. And...Matt has already told me to be careful about it.”

“Well, in that case, there’s no need to rush it,” Nazem replies, a knowing look in his eyes. “Only tell me if you’re certain about...whatever it is.”

“Of course,” Nathan says softly. 

“Now, do you know when your first delivery is going to be?”

“No, Bednar just told me that he would tell me in a few days. And I guess it’s just going to be small messages throughout the city.”

“That’s good. It gives you more time to settle yourself and figure out where you’re going next. And the likelihood of you moving beyond that any time soon is small.”

“Really? Because Bednar said he would eventually move me to higher missions, as long as I proved myself with these smaller ones.”

Nazem snorts. “He says that to everyone, to keep them around. I wouldn’t hold out hope kid, you have to do a lot of things to prove your loyalty to the crown. And you don’t strike me as someone who would do the things they’ll ask of you.”

“I...oh,” Nathan says. “Do you know what they’ll ask of me?”

“Every royal family is different. But they all want to test your loyalty, and it surely just isn’t through delivery of messages. Watch your back, okay? I would hate to see anything bad happen to you just because you’re a good person.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Nazem gives him a small smile. “And I know we don’t know each other at all, but I’ll have your back. I came to this kingdom for a reason, Nathan. I don’t want to see you suffer in the ways I’ve seen.”

“Thank you for that.”

“Now, I think that’s enough for today. Let me know when you get your first delivery, and I’ll make sure to help you in whatever way I can.”

“I appreciate it,” Nathan says. “I’m sorry if I’m just...not fully present, either.”

“You have other things to worry about, Nathan. And I’m not expecting us to become best friends. I’m simply here to make sure that you’re keeping yourself safe. Now, I’m going to go and get some rest. It was good to meet you.”

And with that, Nazem heads out of the dining hall. Nathan sighs, and his heart feels heavy with everything that he’s learned today. While he’s grateful to be moving up the ranks, he can’t help but to feel suspicious about everything that’s led to this moment. But he has nowhere left to go if he decides to defect from the crown, no backup plans. So, his only choice seems to be to move forward, but keeping a careful eye out.

“Are you okay?” Tyson asks softly, sitting down across from Nathan.

Nathan startles a bit, but smiles when he sees that it’s Tyson. “I got the proper messenger job this morning from Bednar. I...there's a lot to take in.”

“I can only imagine,” Tyson replies. “Here’s some pastries from the test batches I made for the upcoming ball. I...it’s not much, but I thought it might help.”

“Thank you,” Nathan whispers, grateful. 

“Well, I should get going before Colin starts wondering where I’ve run off to. Let me know what you think of them,” Tyson says, before heading back to the kitchens.

He eats the pastries in silence, enjoying every bite. He appreciates that Tyson is doing the best he can to support him. Deep down, he knows that Tyson is a big part of why he wants to stay with the castle, despite everything Nazem told him. If Tyson decided he wanted to leave, well, there wouldn’t be anything to keep Nathan from staying. 

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Tyson feels like he barely sees Nathan. With his new position within the castle, Nathan seems to be running messages all over the city every single day. There hardly seems to be any time for the two of them to visit, but Tyson understands that Nathan has so much to prove right now.

“It won’t be like this forever,” Colin says, when he sees Tyson moping again. “Nathan has to make sure that there is no doubt where his loyalties lie. And he can’t appear having distractions within the castle that would prevent him from his job.”

“Are you calling me a distraction?” Tyson exclaims.

“Yes, but it’s not a bad thing. Nathan cares about you, and he has to make sure that it doesn’t look like he cares about you than the crown,” Colin explains.

“But we’re barely friends,” Tyson says weakly. “I know my feelings for him are more than what you would expect for the short time we’ve known each other, but I doubt it’s more than his loyalty to the crown.”

Colin snorts. “Tyson, none of us have loyalty to the crown. We’re here because this is good work, not because we’re here for King Rowan. I mean, you have more reason than any of us to be loyal to him because he’s the whole reason you’re here.”

“I’m forever grateful for the opportunity but…”

“Don’t continue that sentence. Just know that Nathan is doing his best so that when the two of you do hang around each other more, it’s not taken as suspicious.”

“Why wouldn’t it have been suspicious before?”

Colin smiles sadly. “He was still under apprenticeship, so he was under Matt’s watchful eye. But now they don’t have the same hold on him. And you’re so new to the castle, all of it was simply viewed as him welcoming you to the family.”

“Oh, I suppose that makes sense,” Tyson says softly. 

“Also, you haven’t heard it from me, but I hear the gardens are going to be awfully clear of guards tonight. There’s a meeting happening and that is one of the places where there won’t be such a watchful eye.”

“Um, okay? I guess thank you for telling me - oh!” Tyson says, getting it. “That’s a shame that it won’t be watched over. I’ll be sure to let word slip to Nathan?”

Colin smirks, and then gets back to prepping for dinner. When Nathan comes in for lunch, Tyson briefly mentions the gardens not being patrolled for the night and how it would be a shame if they weren’t appreciated without a watchful eye. Nathan smirks when he understands what Tyson is hinting at.

The rest of the day, Tyson is in a noticeably better mood. Having a moment alone with Nathan, much less a private one, is rare and he’s excited to see his friend again. There’s so much that he wants to tell Nathan, but he’s unsure where to start. Does he want to make more promises to try and become better friends? Or will he finally cave under a rare moment of privacy to finally taste Nathan’s lips, to feel the warmth of being close to another person?

When Tyson finally finds himself heading to the gardens, he realizes that he’s made no progress on a decision. He figures that decisions like this are often made in the moment, so he just focuses on the excitement of seeing Nathan again. It turns out that Nathan is already waiting for him, and when he catches sight of Tyson, he smiles brightly.

“Tyson, I missed you,” he whispers, pulling Tyson into a tight hug.

“Hello,” Tyson says softly, holding onto Nathan just as tightly.

He’s not sure how long they stand there, holding each other close. Nathan isn’t that much taller than him, but Tyson can feel himself sinking into the warmth of his friend. The warmth is comforting, and he never wants to let go. Once Nathan pulls back, he can feel the immense loss.

“Let’s go,” Nathan says, pulling Tyson into the maze.

As they try to get deep into the maze, making sure they truly have privacy, Tyson appreciates the strong grip of Nathan’s hand. He doesn’t want to let go, comforted by the strength. When they get to a bench, the two sit down, both sitting closer than normal.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Nathan says. “I’m sorry I haven’t visited you more, but Bednar has been keeping me busy.”

“I figured as much. You’re under so much pressure right now.”

“But that doesn’t excuse me not making time for you.”

“You have so much more on your plate than to make time for me.”

“Tyson, you have to know how I’ve grown to care for you,” Nathan whispers. “I know we have so much more to learn about each other. But I want to do that knowing that you’re by my side. And I know that we’ll have to be careful, especially now. You’re worth it all, though.”

“Nathan,” Tyson says, a little bit of worry leaking through. “I’m not worth risking your entire livelihood for. I want to be by your side, despite everything, but you’re going through so much right now.”

“You’re the best thing about staying at this castle right now. And...god, Matt warned me about moving too fast, but you can’t deny that we have something.”

“We do, I just don’t want this to be a rash decision on your end. I want this just as much as you do, but you need to be sure about this.”

“I am, I swear it,” Nathan says, before kissing Tyson deeply.

It catches Tyson off-guard, but god, if he’s not going to give as good as he’s getting. The kiss is uncoordinated, and it takes a few attempts for them to find their rhythm. Nathan swipes his tongue across Tyson’s lips, and he opens up. He’s not sure how long they sit there, trading deep kisses, but this is the best Tyson has felt in years.

Finally, Nathan pulls back and gives a couple of quick kisses to Tyson’s lips, before pulling away completely. Tyson’s lips feel a bit sore, but he can’t help but smile happily. Colin’s warning, as well as Matt’s, rest in the back of his head, but after this, well, Tyson can’t help but to give into Nathan’s request.

“Whatever happens, I want to do it with you,” Tyson whispers, resting his head in Nathan’s shoulder. “I know this is probably a dumb choice, but I want to know that we’ll have each other through it all.”

“Okay, I think I can live with that,” Nathan replies, kissing the top of Tyson’s head.

“I wish we had more time to be together. I just...I want to know everything about you, Nathan.”

“And you will learn everything.”

“You know, before you left for Dha, you promised me multiple letters. I recall only getting one, although I know you could hardly control that.”

“Is this your way of saying you want me to write you more letters?”

“I know that you’re here in the castle, but it feels like you’re gone enough for it to not count. A letter or two would be nice. I just...the idea of writing letters has always seemed a little bit romantic to me and it might be easier than trying to sneak around the guards.”

“I think that can be arranged,” Nathan says, before kissing Tyson again.

Tyson smiles into the kiss, before trying to deepen it again. Much to his dismay, Nathan pulls away.

“We should get going soon,” Nathan explains, looking sad. “I know the guard isn’t here at the moment, but I don’t want people getting suspicious.”

“You’re right,” Tyson whispers. “Come see me again, okay? I expect to see you more, even if it’s just a brief moment in the kitchens.”

“I’ll do my best,” Nathan says, smiling.

They hold hands as they navigate their way out of the maze. When they approach the exit, much to Tyson’s dismay, Nathan lets go of his hand. They walk together for as long as they can, but silently part once they get to the staff’s quarters. Nathan gives him a small smile, before heading off to his room.

The following morning, Tyson has a hard time keeping the smile off of his face. While he and Nathan didn’t define their relationship the previous night, it was obvious where they’re headed. And it might be too much too soon, but he can’t find himself caring.

“So, I’m guessing the meeting went well?” Colin asks, as they prepare lunch. “I’ve seen you trying to not smile all morning.”

“Oh, uh, yes, I suppose it did go well,” Tyson answers. “I...I think things are going to work out just fine.”

“Well, I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for the two of you and make sure staff doesn’t catch on, at least the ones that’ll cause any harm.”

“Thank you, Colin. And aren’t you going to give me some type of talk?”

Colin snorts. “Nothing I say would have kept the two of you away from each other. I see how the two of you look at each other, and I can’t bring myself to ruin it. All I can do now is make sure that no unnecessary attention is drawn your way.”

“I appreciate that. We promised to write letters to each other though,” Tyson whispers, like he’s telling Colin a dirty secret.

“You’re going to write letters, even though you both live in the castle?” Colin inquires, smirking a little bit.

“What? We hardly get to see each other in person, so it just makes sense to do this. That way, we can make sure that we’re still getting to talk, even if it’s not what we want,” Tyson explains, defensive.

“Well, as long as you make sure to not get caught, I can’t argue with that.”

“I promise we won’t get caught. We already know how dangerous all of this is, and I’m not going to do something dumb to risk either of our livelihoods.”

“I’ve seen this play out before, Tyson. And...it’s not pretty. But I also don’t want you to not be happy. All I want is the best for you.”

“I just...why are you so invested in this? It’s like you’re talking from experience?”

“I’ve been on this staff since I was a child, Tyson. Despite the kindness from the royal family, they will not hesitate to cut someone loose because they could harm their image.”

“But I’m just a baker, I can’t do anything.”

“No, normally not, but when Nathan is privy to knowledge we’ll never learn about, especially when you consider his line of work. If he were to let anything pass beyond where it was supposed to be delivered, it wouldn’t be good.”

“I understand,” Tyson says meekly.

“I don’t mean to tell you this to scare you, Tyson. I want the two of you to live a good life together, but that comes at the cost of living a normal life.”

“I know, I think I just get overwhelmed when I think about it. It’s times like this when I miss the bakery with my family. Things were so much easier back then.”

“Yes, but you would have never met Nathan,” Colin points out. “But...it is never too late to go back there, you know. The crown might have some stipulations on your return, but it is a possibility.”

“I would see Nathan even less in that case,” Tyson says, pouting a little bit. 

“I just thought I would put the possibility out there. It’s good to know all of your options.”

“Well, that’s not one right now. Besides, would I not only lose more time with Nathan, I wouldn’t get to see you.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize I would ever factor into that decision,” Colin replies, laughing a little bit. “I appreciate it, though. I would miss you greatly, but your safety will always come first.”

Tyson smiles softly at that. “I’m glad we’re friends, Colin. It makes life here much better.”

* * *

Nathan is exhausted at the end of every day, seeing as he’s stuck running around the entire city, giving small messages to the royals that reside around the castle. But he always makes time to write Tyson a letter, even if it’s something short. He doesn’t deliver them every day, not wanting to raise suspicion from the guards, but he makes sure to bundle them all together.

He and Tyson have stuck to just sliding the letters under the door, and it seems to be working so far. Most of the letters have been focused on learning more about each other, telling the other about things from their childhoods. Everything Tyson tells him, he holds it closely to his heart. All of this has only made him grow fonder of the baker. 

From what he can gather, Tyson grew up with a happy family and close to the castle. It takes him a little while, but he figures out where his family’s bakery is and makes a brief stop there on his way back from a short delivery one day. When he finds it, the smell coming from there comforts his heart.

As he enters the shop, he sees an older couple in the front, putting various baked goods in baskets. When they notice him, Nathan can immediately see the resemblance they bear to Tyson. So, he figures that these must be Tyson’s parents. 

“You’re new,” the older woman says. “I’m Kristy, and this is my husband Len.”

“It’s good to meet you,” Nathan says, wondering if he should say anything about Tyson.

In the end, he decides to not say anything, just in case. Matt’s warnings about being careful weigh heavy in his heart, and he doesn’t want to inadvertently cause Tyson or his family any trouble. 

“Are you looking for anything in particular?” Len inquires.

“Uh, I’ve heard good things about the bread?” Nathan replies, unsure of what else to say.

Len snorts. “You haven’t heard anything about our bread, have you? Just heard the name?”

“Yeah, that would be it,” Nathan says vaguely.

“Well, I’ll get some of our pastries together, though I have to say, they’re not quite as good as our son Tyson used to make. He got real good at it, shame you haven’t got to try them yet,” Len informed.

Nathan smiles a little at that. “That’s a shame. But I’m sure he had to learn it from somewhere.”

“That’s awfully kind of you to say,” Kristy says. 

Nathan ends up getting a couple of pastries that he recognizes from Tyson and insists on paying full-price. It’s the least he can do for his friend’s parents. As he makes his way back to the castle, he thinks about his growing relationship with Tyson. There’s a small part of him that feels like he needs to be more logical about where things are going between the two of them.

He knows that it’s lingering doubts from Matt, and it still stings thinking about him. But something is telling him that despite it all, he would be happy for the two of them. Matt would never admit it, but he was a romantic at heart. It was really a shame that he never had anyone to call his own because Nathan knows that whoever Matt decided to love, he would have loved them with his whole heart. But the past is the past, and Nathan knows he has to try and move forward with a clear conscience. 

When Nathan gets back to his room, he notices that Kathy and Len slipped an extra pastry in the bag. And while initially Nathan was hesitant about letting Tyson know that he dropped by his family’s bakery, he also guesses that sometimes, it’s nice to get something from home. So, he writes another short letter explaining everything, then waits until he knows Tyson would be headed back to his room.

“Nathan, I wasn’t expecting to see you today!” Tyson exclaims happily.

“I got off work early,” he answers, shrugging bashfully. “And I, uh, got something for you.”

So, Nathan holds out the letter and pastry. Tyson takes them, giving him a confused look. Before he opens the letter, however, he silently ushers them into his room, where they sit on his bed. 

“Is this from where I think it is?” Tyson inquires softly.

“I - yes, it is,” Nathan replies. “I mean, I explain it in the letter, but I just wanted to know about your family’s bakery. You’ve mentioned them so many times in your letters that I just wanted to visit, I suppose. Are you angry?”

“I mean, a little bit, but mostly because I would have loved if you could have delivered a letter or something to them,” Tyson answers.

“Oh, well, I’ll keep that in mind then. I’ll let you know when I’m in their area of town.”

“Thank you,” Tyson says, a bit of wistfulness in his voice.

Nathan kisses him softly, not having been able to touch him in over a week. Tyson leans into it, both of his hands going up to Nathan’s shoulders. He’s not sure how long they sit there kissing, but by the time Nathan pulls away, he feels more content than he has in a long time. Tyson smiles softly at him, and gives him a quick kiss.

“This is nice,” Tyson murmurs. “I’m sad we can’t be together more. I just wish we didn’t have to be so careful.”

Nathan brings one of his hands up to hold Tyson’s face. “I’m sorry that I can’t give you more right now. You deserve more than letters and only being able to see me when I’m not being watched by the guards.”

“I wouldn’t trade it for anything, Nathan. There’s still more we have to learn about each other, but I want you in my life, even if it has to be like this. I wouldn’t be here right now if I didn’t want it.”

Nathan can feel himself start to tear up at this, and Tyson brings him into a hug. As Nathan rests his head on Tyson’s shoulder, he thinks about how much his life has changed in the last few months. Despite the loss of Matt, which will never stop hurting, he’s felt excited about his future with Tyson. Wherever that may lead, he’s excited to meet it head on.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Nathan and Tyson grow closer, they realize that they haven't been as careful as they had intended. Now they're struggling to figure out if their love is worth risking the danger it brings to their jobs.

_ “Absurd times call for absurd amounts of love.” _

In the following weeks, Tyson notices that Nathan makes more of an effort to try and visit him in person. It’s nice to finally be with Nathan in person, but he’s aware of the risk that they’re putting themselves in by being together. Guards are trained to notice patterns, so Nathan always changes things up, and there’s an occasional week where Tyson won’t hear from him at all.

One evening, after most of the staff have left for the evening, Colin pulls Tyson aside. He can already tell that this is going to be a serious talk, from the lack of smile on his friend’s face. Sighing, he gets himself ready for whatever has to be said.

“I’ve heard some rumors about you and Nathan,” Colin whispers nervously. “I thought that the two of you were being careful about seeing each other.”

“We have been,” Tyson says, concerned. “We’ve mostly been contacting each other through letters, and he’s been coming by in person, but not before making sure that the guards aren’t following him.”

“Tyson, we both know that the guards aren’t the reason for gossip or things happening around the castle. Most people working here are fine keeping relationships under wraps, but they still talk. One of the guardsmen that the crown trusts is bound to overhear something sooner or later.”

“I promise that we’ve been doing our best. It’s just hard not knowing how the crown will react, I suppose.”

“If Nathan had decided to take any other position within the castle, or had even done worse at his job, I’m sure the crown wouldn’t have cared. I know how unfair this is and I know that you’re angry. You have every right to be, but I don’t want you to do anything that will harm either of you.”

“I know you’re right,” Tyson says softly. “I want Nathan to be happy with what he’s doing because he gave up going back home to have work here. But...I hate that it comes at the cost of us having to hide.”

Colin smiles sadly. “I’m only looking out for you because I care, and I get where you’re coming from. It’s hard to hide who you’re in love with.”

“I - what are you talking about?” Tyson asks, scrunching up his eyebrows. “Is there someone I don’t know about?”

“There was someone I never told you about, mostly because I didn’t want more people to know about it than necessary. So, everything I’m telling you, it’s because I know where you’re coming from and all of the dangers that come with loving someone like Nathan,” Colin says, his voice sounding small, and his eyes starting to tear up.

“Was someone? Are you no longer together?”

“It was Matt, the person I’m talking about was Matt,” Colin sighs, the tears finally falling from his face.

“Oh,” Tyson says, before wrapping his friend up in a tight hug.

There’s so many thoughts racing through his head right now. Colin and Matt is not something he ever expected, but the more he thinks about it, the more it makes sense. It would make sense why Matt was always so insistent that Nathan be careful and knew how to best avoid watching eyes. And it would also make sense on how Colin always knew what to watch out for.

“I’m sorry you lost him,” Tyson whispers. “I wish I could do something to make it all better.”

Colin laughs a little before pulling back from the hug. He wipes away his tears, and visibly tries to gather himself, and pull his emotions back in. Tyson can’t imagine how hard this must be for him.

“We never wanted anyone to know. The more people that knew would only mean an increased chance of the information getting into the wrong hands,” Colin explains. “We’d been together for years, and it only became second nature to not tell anyone. It was hard because all I wanted to do was tell everyone how in love with him I was.”

Colin silently starts crying again, but just does his best to wipe away his tears. Tyson is at a loss of what to do, trying to process all of this new information. The more he thinks about it, the more it all seems to make sense.

“We saw so much of ourselves in the two of you,” Colin whispers, hoarsely. “We wanted the both of you to be happy, but at what cost? Hiding your relationship to the point of nobody even knowing it might not be worth it either.”

“You could have told us,” Tyson whispers. “I...god, I can’t imagine nobody not knowing about Nathan and I.”

Colin smiles sadly. “Hiding it was hard, but it was the only way we could see protecting ourselves. We had nowhere else to go if we got run out of the castle. And we never wanted to see the same thing happen to either of you.”

“It won’t, Colin, I swear it,” Tyson says softly. “We’ll pull back on the letters and visiting each other in person for a while.”

“I don’t know if that’ll be enough in the end,” Colin replies. “It’s just....what’s the point of being together if you can’t see the other person? Matt and I made it work because we felt like there was no other option. And I know you feel the same way, but to hardly see each other? Is that a life you are willing to commit to?”

“If it means knowing that we’ll be together, then yes,” Tyson says, defiant. 

Colin smiles a little bit at that. “Just be careful, Tyson. And you have to be prepared for the reality that Nathan’s job is dangerous. He’s lucky that he got out alive when he did, but it might not happen again.”

“I’m sorry that Nathan came back, but Matt didn’t. Doesn’t quite feel fair, does it?”

“It doesn’t, but knowing Matt, that’s how he would have wanted it. He always looked out for everyone else.”

“Still doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

“No, it doesn’t, but I’ll do right by him, making sure that you and Nathan end up happy together. I’ll continue to keep an eye out for you, okay?”

“Thank you,” Tyson says. “And...could I tell Nathan about you and Matt? I think it might help him a little bit, knowing that Matt was overly cautious for a reason.”

Colin looks conflicted for a moment, but Tyson can’t really blame him. After keeping their relationship so well hidden for so long, it would be hard to let people know about it. But then Colin nods.

“Yes, it would help. If he has any further questions, he can stop by for a little while,” Colin says. “At least now I’ll have people I trust know about us.”

“I’m sorry that you never got to tell people,” Tyson whispers. 

Colin smiles sadly. “That was our choice. It’s too late to change things now, but Matt would be happy to know that you and Nathan are some of the first people to know.”

And with that, Colin heads out of the dining hall. Tyson feels overwhelmed with emotion, unsure of how to process it all. Knowing that Colin has experienced exactly what he and Nathan are going through brings a little bit of peace to his heart, but it still breaks him knowing that they never got to have a happy ending.

Sighing, he heads back to his room and hopes that Nathan comes by to visit him. None of this is something that can be properly conveyed in a letter, and it’s best to avoid having the chance of the information falling into the wrong hands. And surely Nathan will have plenty of questions after hearing the news, which will be easier to answer in person. Thankfully, not long after Tyson settles in for the night, he hears a light knock on his door.

Excitedly, he gets up and opens the door. Nathan is smiling, albeit looking awfully tired. As Tyson lets him in, Nathan sits on the bed and opens his arms for Tyson to curl up in. He smiles softly at that, and cuddles up to Nathan. They spend a few minutes just sitting with each other as Tyson thinks through what exactly to tell Nathan.

“So, I was talking to Colin after our shift together,” Tyson says, unsure of how else to start. “He gave me permission to tell you, but you have to promise me to not talk about it to anyone besides myself and Colin.”

Nathan scrunches his eyebrows in confusion. “What is it?”

“I...well, Colin was telling me about why we have to be careful because he’s been hearing more rumors about us being together,” Tyson explains. “He told me that he knows so much because of personal experience.”

“With who?” Nathan inquires. “Do I know who it is?”

Tyson lets out a bitter laugh. “Colin told me that he had been with Matt.”

“Matt? But he never said anything. I…why would he not tell me anything?” Nathan says, anger seeping through his voice. “I don’t get why Matt wouldn’t trust me enough to say anything.”

“Colin told me that he and Matt got so used to hiding it, that it only became like second nature to them. I’m sure it’s not because Matt didn’t trust you,” Tyson says before bringing Nathan into a hug. 

Nathan leans into the touch, and they stand there, soaking in each other’s presence. There’s obviously a lot going through Nathan’s head right now that he’s trying to process, so Tyson makes sure to give him some time to think through it all.

“It must have just been because they were so used to not saying anything,” Tyson whispers after a few minutes. “I wish I had a better answer for you, but I don’t.”

Nathan pulls away from the hug, and gives Tyson a concerned look. “And you’re sure that Colin was telling the truth? Not that I don’t trust him, but this is a lot to take in.”

“He would never lie about something like this. It makes sense if you think about it, Nathan. They always knew how to get around the guard and they knew the exact implications of what us getting together would mean.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Nathan whispers. “I think I’m just hurt that Matt never thought to tell me, you know?”

“And you have every right to be hurt over that, even if the reasons were good.”

Nathan holds Tyson a bit tighter, and they sit together in silence yet again. Tyson doesn’t know what it must feel like to learn such an important part of Matt’s life, after he has already died. So, he just lets Nathan think about it and try to process the news.

“I don’t ever want our relationship to become a secret nobody can know about,” Nathan says. “I know why Matt insisted on it, but I don’t want to hide you.”

“I don’t want that either, but we have to be careful,” Tyson points out. “It’s unfair, I know that, but losing you would be worse than hiding it.”

Nathan groans, and hides his face in Tyson’s shoulder. Neither of them are in a position to leave the castle, not now. And it’s a hard reality to accept, not knowing if the crown would bother caring about their relationship in the first place. As much as Tyson wants to shout his love from the rooftops, he’s content keeping it quiet for now.

“I wish things were different,” Nathan says. “I would have never had to worry about this back home, but then I would have never met you.”

“I know,” Tyson replies. “We can be content with this for now though. There’s the rest of our lives to figure out where to go and what to do from here.”

“But what if I end up like Matt, never being able to tell people about who I love before I die? I can’t imagine how he hid it for so long.”

“He needed to do it, so he did it. Colin most definitely seems to not have regretted their relationship, just the circumstances that lead them to hiding,” Tyson explains.

Nathan smiles softly at that. “I’m glad that Matt had someone who loved him. And I suppose everything makes sense now, why he was always warning me. Because he knew the dangers.”

“I’m sorry it has to be like this,” Tyson whispers.

“You have nothing to apologize for. I’m sure we’ll figure it all out soon enough. I don’t know what it’ll look like, but I swear that I won’t ever leave you.”

Tyson laughs a little, before leaning in to kiss Nathan. They sit there for a few moments, just trading soft kisses. There’s no intent to make things deeper, both just wanting to be close to one another. When Nathan pulls away, he has a sad look in his eyes.

“I should go before anyone gets too suspicious,” Nathan says mournfully. “I’ll be back to visit as soon as I can.”

“Okay,” Tyson replies, giving Nathan a quick kiss.

Nathan smiles sadly, before getting up and leaving. Once Tyson is alone, he lets out a big sigh. He feels overwhelmed with everything he learned today, and is unsure of what to do with it all. Being together and happy with Nathan is what he wants most, even if it means barely seeing each other. But seeing the toll it’s taking on Nathan is also hard. How can they be expected to hide for the rest of their lives?

Unsure of what else to do, Tyson decides to talk to Colin the following day. If anyone would know what to do, it would be him. Even if Colin hadn’t told Tyson about his relationship with Matt, he is still the only other person Tyson trusts within the castle. He’s not sure what solutions there are, but he has to ask. There aren’t really any options at the moment, but maybe Colin can give some ideas of what to do.

* * *

Nathan is feeling run down from all of the missions he’s been running lately. He figures the more he takes on, he can show dedication to the crown and drown any suspicion of wrongdoing. Even though it drastically cuts into any time he had set aside to see Tyson, Nathan knows that he understands the reasoning.

One morning, Bednar calls Nathan into his chancery. This causes him to panic a little, unsure of what the call is for. He thought he had been doing a good job of running messages and deliveries, but maybe he hadn’t been as subtle as he had hoped with Tyson. 

“I hope you are well this morning,” Bednar greets, as Nathan seats himself across from him.

“Yes, I am doing well, thank you,” Nathan replies. “I hope your morning is good as well.”

“It is,” Bednar says. “Now, I know you’re wondering why I called you in here today. I promise that it is not a reprimand, but rather something that you should be made aware of.”

“Oh,” Nathan replies, feeling his heart drop. 

“I may have heard that there is a relationship forming between you and the new baker. I have no issue with it, but it was something that was brought to my attention. It will only be a matter of time before the crown hears, but I don’t think that they would be upset at the news,” Bednar explains.

Nathan feels confused, and uncertain of what to say. There’s so much information to unpack there and he doesn’t know where to start. If Bednar knows, it leads Nathan to start thinking about who else might know already.

“I....we were trying to be so careful lately,” Nathan says weakly.

“You have been careful, but you know how the staff love to talk. But I can assure you that the crown would have no issue with it, but your missions will strictly be kept to the royal city,” Bednar says. 

“You sound awfully sure of all of this,” Nathan points out.

“Because I am sure. I’ve worked with the crown long enough to know where their stance is on a lot of things. But I’m sure they would also understand if you were to take leave of your position and work elsewhere within the city.”

“I...what? Where else would I go?”

“You seem to be awfully fond of visiting the Barrie Family’s Bakery. I’m sure that would be an understandable place to go to.”

Nathan feels himself flush. Just another thing he thought he was keeping hidden well enough being exposed. If Bednar knows about all of this, then surely it would leak up to the crown soon enough, if it hasn’t already. But...it gets him thinking about the possibility and it makes him wonder why either he or Tyson never thought of the possibility before.

“I have to say, I never considered that to be an option before,” Nathan says. “But...I would have to think about it.”

“Of course, I’m not expecting you to make any rash decisions about this. All I want for you to be happy, Nathan. There is no sense in trying to hide something when there’s no need to. But that doesn’t mean you don’t need to be careful.”

“If the crown would be okay with it, then what’s the need to be careful about?”

“Nathan, you can’t truly believe that there wasn’t a reason you and Matt were attacked on your trip to Dha. Our relationship with them is already tentative, anything that gives away a weakness will be exploited.”

Nathan pauses at that, looking at the trip in a completely different light. It would make sense, especially with the attack happening on the day they left the capitol. His heart hurts even more now knowing this extra information.

“I have a lot to think about,” Nathan whispers. “I’ll need some time to think through it all, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course, I wasn’t expecting you to have an answer or any type of reply ready for me. I just wanted to make you aware of what I know,” Bednar explains.

“Thank you,” Nathan says, before getting up to go.

As he heads off to his room, he thinks over what Bednar told him. If it’s certain that the crown won’t hold his relationship with Tyson over his head, then that opens up a world of possibilities. Maybe he would be constricted in some sense, especially with not being able to run deliveries outside of the city, but it would be a small concession to make.

But he hesitates on telling Tyson right away. As much as he’s grown to trust Bednar the last few weeks, he still doesn’t want to bet his entire life on it yet. So, Nathan decides to mull over things a bit longer before deciding on how to go about everything. There’s a lot to think over, and a lot that he wants to be sure about first.

Bednar had mentioned the Barrie family bakery, but Nathan doesn’t know the first thing about running a business. And Tyson had to have come to the castle for a reason, right? He had mentioned that King Rowan had asked him personally to join the royal staff, and that’s an honor you just don’t run away from. And Nathan isn’t sure if there’s other reasoning that Tyson just hasn’t brought up yet.

And in all honesty, Nathan isn’t sure that he wants to leave the castle yet. He spent so much of his life trying to get where he is now, and to leave all of that behind is scary. There’s a small part of him that feels like he would be betraying Matt if he left as well. Matt had put so much time into training Nathan that it felt a waste of his life to just turn his back on it all.

Nathan is also worried about the money he’s currently sending back home. As much as he wants to run away with Tyson, he has to think about the financial impact it would have on his family. Running away from everything sounds nice, but he has other people to think about as well.

But the thought of not having to worry about whether he was going to have to hide his relationship or not would be worth it. Bednar had mentioned that the crown would be okay with him and Tyson, but at the cost of Nathan never running a message beyond the city limits. The thought of that happening hurts him more than he wants to admit.

Over the next week, he keeps mulling over his decision, and he decides to stop by the Barrie Bakery again, if only to see how the shop is run. Trying to look at it through a new light, a place where he might be able to build up a new life, is different than just stopping by for another pastry.

“Oh, it’s you again,” Kristy greets happily. “What’s got you looking so sad?”

Nathan startles a little, not realizing that he’s being so obvious. “I guess just a lot to think about. Something new is always popping up in the castle.”

“I can imagine. Our boy Tyson writes us on occasion and he always has a new story to tell,” she replies. “Is it going to be the usual?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Please, how many times do I have to tell you to not call me that?” Kristy jokes.

“Just seems appropriate to call the shop owner by her proper title,” Nathan says with a small smile.

“Well, aren’t you full of flattery?” Kristy replies. 

Nathan laughs a little. “You mentioned your son Tyson?”

“Oh, yes! He left us about six months ago now. He’s working as kitchen staff, which shouldn’t be a surprise, I suppose. We miss him dearly, but it’s hard to turn down a request from the king himself, you know?”

“He’s a good man,” Nathan whispers, unsure of what else to say.

“King Rowan? Yes, he seems very kind.”

“Um, no, Tyson. I know him fairly well,” Nathan explains. “He’s doing good, if you’re wondering. We don’t see each other too often, but I promise he’s doing just fine.”

“Oh,” Kristy says, a bit of surprise in her voice. “It’s good to know that he isn’t lying. Here, I’m going to put an extra pastry in, one of his favorites.”

She puts in a small pastry into the bag, and hands it over to Nathan. He smiles a little, and notices the tears welling up in her eyes. 

“Have a good day, son, and tell Tyson I said hello, okay?” Kristy says.

“Of course, ma’am,” Nathan replies politely, before heading out.

As he heads back to the castle, Nathan thinks about how hard it must have been for Tyson to leave his family. Tyson always talks about how excited he was to come work for the crown, but he hardly talks about his family. And Nathan is only now just figuring out that it must be because he misses them. Next time they see each other, Nathan makes sure to bring it up.

* * *

As Tyson and Colin finish up another shift in the kitchen and walk towards their rooms, Colin pulls him to the side, obviously wanting to talk about something. Both look around quickly for any guards before turning back to each other.

“So, I was thinking about you and Nathan,” Colin says. “I thought of a way that the two of you could really be together.”

Tyson looks at his friend in confusion. “And how would that be?”

“Well, I was thinking that you could possibly go back to the bakery with Nathan. I don’t see why King Rowan would deny you, kitchen staff is easy enough to replace. He might have some specific concessions that you might have to make, but he’s been known to be agreeable to staff that he likes,” Colin explains. “And lord knows that you and Nathan have done nothing but prove yourselves to the crown.”

“I...I guess I never thought about going back,” Tyson says. “I didn’t think that it was an option.”

“It’s one that doesn’t hurt to think about,” Colin points out. “And bring it up to Nathan and see what he thinks.”

“I’ll do that when I see him next,” Tyson replies.

Colin nods, then heads off to his own room. The second Tyson flops down on his own bed, his mind starts racing and thinking about what it would mean to go back to the bakery. It’s not something that he would be unhappy with, but he also doesn’t want to drag Nathan away from the life he’s built here at the castle.

Whenever Nathan has the time to come visit him, it’s the first thing Tyson wants to talk about with him. This is a decision that they have to make together, and he’ll be happy with whatever they end up deciding as long as he’s with Nathan. There’s a lot to end up deciding, but he’s certain that they’ll be happy no matter what.

Turns out seeing each other is only an hour later when Nathan comes by with one of his favorite pasties that could have only come from his family's bakery. This warms his heart, reminding him of the early mornings spent baking with his parents. As per usual, they curl up on Tyson’s bed, finding comfort in each other’s warmth.

“I hope that it’s okay I stopped by without telling you,” Nathan says softly. “I just wanted to do something nice for you.”

“Of course it’s okay,” Tyson replies, before taking a large bite.

Nathan laughs a little, before a serious look crosses his face. This concerns Tyson and makes him think that there’s more to the pastry than just wanting to do something nice for him. 

“I had a conversation with Bednar earlier this week about us,” Nathan starts to say.

“He knows about us?” Tyson asks, rightfully panicked.

“He does, but he’s not angry about it. Bednar said that the crown might not be as angry about our relationship as we’ve been thinking,” Nathan explains. “Us being together might restrict what missions I could go on, but we wouldn’t have to hide.”

“Oh,” Tyson says, in shock. “And he’s sure of that?”

Nathan shrugs. “He seemed very sure of it. He also mentioned that we might be able to go back to your family bakery if we didn’t want anything to do with the castle anymore, though.”

“Really?” Tyson inquires. “Because Colin might have just suggested the same thing to me as we left our shift tonight.”

Nathan is obviously taken off-guard by that. “And...what do you make of it?”

“I haven’t had time to think about it like you have, but...I don’t know, Nathan. I know you’ve built a good life here and I don’t want to take that away from you.”

“Would you be happier back with your family, though?” Nathan asks. “You’re the best thing that has, and ever will, happen to me. I’m hesitant to leave, but if it’s what you would want, then I would follow you. But...I also have to think about my family. I send money back to them to help them out and I worry about what the lost funds will do to them.

“I love you,” Tyson whispers, hiding his face in Nathan’s shoulder. “I hope you know that I would follow you anywhere as well. Whatever we end up deciding, it’ll be because we both wanted it, okay? And if we have to stay here to help your family, then so be it.”

“I love you too,” Nathan says, kissing the top of Tyson’s head. “We’ll get through this together, I swear it.”

Tyson smiles and curls further into Nathan. They sit there for what seems like forever, not speaking, but just enjoying being together. As long as they can be happy and have moments like this, Tyson can’t find himself caring where they end up. It’s much too sentimental for how short of a time they’ve been together, but he’s never been so sure of his feelings before. They wouldn’t be sitting here and having this conversation if they didn’t truly care for each other.

“Would it be bad if I wanted to stay here a little bit longer?” Nathan asks quietly. “I don’t know if I’m really ready to leave yet. And if we do decide on leaving, I want to give my family time on finding supplemental income.”

Tyson turns a little bit so he can look at Nathan. “There’s nothing wrong with that at all. I never want to push to leave. And I enjoy my work here enough that I don’t mind.”

“I just want you to be happy. I feel bad asking you to stay for people you’ve never met before, but it’s a reality I’m facing right now.”

“I am happy, Nathan. It’s an honor to work here, even if it is demanding. As lovely as it would be to go home, if the crown would really be okay with us together, then I can stay here as long as you need to, especially if it’s for your family.”

“But we don’t really know if the crown would be okay with it, this is just going off of Bednar’s best guess. And...I don’t know if he’s to be fully trusted yet.”

Tyson shrugs. “He wouldn’t have brought it up if he wasn’t at least a little bit sure. I get why you’re hesitant, we’ve been told so many times to be careful.”

“I suppose so,” Nathan says softly. “I just don’t want us to live under constant pressure of having to hide our relationship.”

“I don’t either, but we’ll be just fine, wherever we end up.”

“Thank you,” Nathan replies, with a small smile.

“You have nothing to thank me for,” Tyson says before kissing him.

They trade gentle kisses for a few minutes, getting lost in each other. Tyson had meant what he said, he would stay here without a doubt if it’s what Nathan truly wanted. It would be hard to stay careful, and watch Nathan never advance past running messages throughout the city, but it would still be a good life. 

But going back to the bakery would be awfully nice. He would miss Colin without a doubt, but it would also be nice to go home and be with his family again. Tyson missed them more than he wanted to admit, even to Nathan. They have time, though, and he makes a promise to himself to not pressure Nathan into anything.

“I can tell you’re thinking about something,” Nathan says quietly, as he pulls back a little.

Tyson blushes. “Sorry, it’s just...there’s a lot to think about, I guess.”

Nathan smiles a little. “There is, but we have enough time to think about it all.”

Tyson rolls his eyes and kisses Nathan again. This time, Tyson truly gets lost in being close with Nathan, enjoying this rare moment of peace. He’s not sure how long they sit there kissing, but by the time they pull back from each other, Tyson’s lips feel a little sore.

“You know, you won’t always be able to kiss your way out of things,” Nathan says.

“I wasn’t aware that was happening,” Tyson replies, haughtily. “And I didn’t see you complaining either.”

Nathan snorts. “We’ll talk more about this soon, but I should get going. I know things are looking good for us, but I don’t want to push anything either.”

“Okay,” Tyson says sadly. 

As Nathan makes his way out of Tyson’s room, he sighs heavily. What Nathan told him about the crown possibly not being angry with them is hard to process. There’s a large part of Tyson that wants to doubt that information, but he also wants to be hopeful. Even if the crown restricts where Nathan can run missions, it’s not the worst outcome, and definitely much better than either of them were expecting.

It’s still not fair, though. The fact that he and Nathan are even having this conversation doesn’t quite feel right. As much as Tyson wants a reason to go back to his family, he’s not fond of the reason why they would be doing it. Not that he doesn’t want to not have to worry about his relationship with Nathan, something about it feels odd.

And Tyson hadn’t even thought of whether or not Nathan would want to go back to his family. Nathan has mentioned that it’s too late for him to go back to the farm life after being removed from it for so long, but they could still make a life there. And with the aspect of having to financially help them, it would only make more sense on going back to be with them.

There’s also a small part of him that is worried about all of this moving too fast. He hasn’t even been working at the castle for a full six months yet. As sure as he is about his feelings for Nathan, he doesn’t want to rush into making this decision. They can always leave the castle later, but they cannot come back.

In the end, Tyson makes sure to bring this all up next time he sees Nathan. He knows that Nathan will understand his concerns, and it’s best to not hide his feelings on the matter. Whatever they end up deciding, it’ll change the course of their lives forever. With something this big, it’s best to not rush into anything, despite what his heart is telling him.

* * *

The next couple of weeks pass by in a blur, and Nathan doesn’t have much time to visit Tyson. They still exchange letters, but they make sure to not mention anything about their plans to leave. Both are still feeling cautious and wary about everything going on, unsure if they can really trust what Bednar is saying.

Nathan also takes the time he’s running deliveries and messages to think about what he really wants to do. The more he thinks about it, even if the crown is okay with his relationship with Tyson, he would never advance beyond this as a messenger. Nathan would be stuck running things throughout the city, and that’s never what he wanted.

So with every passing day, he becomes more and more certain that leaving the castle and working in the bakery is the right decision. It just feels right, and he’s sure Matt would have understood, especially considering his relationship with Colin. With his decision made, he decides to visit Tyson the following night to tell him of his choice. As long as Tyson is okay with it, they can start moving forward towards something where they can be happier. When he finally visits Tyson a few days later, he’s confident in his decision.

“You look like you have a lot on your mind,” Tyson comments, as they sit on his bed.

“I guess you could say that,” Nathan says, with a small smile. “I’ve just been thinking a lot, I suppose.”

“Oh, well, must be serious then,” Tyson jokes.

Nathan snorts. “I see what I have to put up with now.”

Tyson just rolls his eyes, and then motions for Nathan to explain what’s going on.

“I’ve just been thinking about our future, I suppose. It’s just...I’ve been thinking about where I want to be ten years down the line, and it isn’t working here, doing the same jobs because of my relationship with you,” Nathan explains. “Not that I won’t miss it and have a little bit of regret, but I think I want to leave. And my family will understand, we’ll figure something out together.”

“Oh,” Tyson says, a little shocked. “Are you sure?”

“It’s all I’ve been thinking about, you know? It’ll be hard leaving, but I also don’t want to spend the rest of my life doing this. I didn’t become a messenger to just run around the city all day.”

“Well, if you’re certain, then so be it. But...you know we don’t have to go back to my family’s bakery. I know you’ve said that you can’t go back to working on the farm, but we can be close to your family as well. I’m sure we could figure something out.”

“They’ve accepted the fact that I’m never coming back home, Tyson,” Nathan whispers, tugging him a little bit closer. “I’ve been gone well over ten years now, and it’s never crossed their minds that I would leave to come back. I promise that they’ll be okay with me going with you, wherever you want to go. I mean, they might insist that I visit more, but that’s it.”

“In that case, I think I would be okay with going back,” Tyson says. “I just...I don’t know, it feels weird going back, like I’m giving up in a way?”

“But you aren’t. Unless you’ve changed your mind. If you want to stay here, I can make my peace with working here.”

“No, I haven’t, it’s just weird to be going back after less than a year. Not that I’m not sure of us or why we’re doing this, I just feel like this is happening so fast.”

“I won’t deny that it is, and we can stay here for a while longer if that makes you feel better. Just because we know what we want to do, doesn’t mean it has to happen right this instant.”

“I just feel bad making you wait.”

“Darling, we’ve only just started talking about this. I will gladly stay here as long as you want to.”

“Thank you,” Tyson whispers. “And I suppose I want more time with just the two of us. The second we go back, my parents are going to be around us all the time. Lord knows my mother would want to know why I decided to leave the royal staff after less than a year for a man.”

Nathan laughs. “From what I’ve seen of your mother, that makes sense. Like I’ve been saying, we can wait here as long as you need to.”

Tyson smiles, and gives Nathan a small kiss. Knowing that they have a plan for their future together gives Tyson a sense of comfort that he hasn’t felt in a long time. Whatever ends up happening, even if plans end up changing, he knows that he and Nathan will be happy together.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyson and Nathan finally start their life together.

_ “Because I want to. You make me want to become something greater than myself. I want to excel. You inspire me in every act, every word, every glance. I look at you and you’re like...light made into flesh.” _

Tyson is unsure of whether or not he should bring up his plans with Nathan to Colin or not. As much as he wants to tell his friend what’s going on, he also doesn’t know how to bring it all up. Besides, it’s not like he’s planning on leaving any time soon, so he guesses that it’s okay if he doesn’t say anything. Turns out Colin is oddly perceptive as usual and brings it up as they head back to their rooms one night.

“Seems like you’re getting up to something,” Colin says casually. “Wouldn’t happen to be plans with Nathan, would it?”

“Oh, uh, maybe,” Tyson replies, awkwardly. “I wasn’t planning on saying anything right away, I guess.”

Colin raises an eyebrow. “Are the two of you planning on leaving?”

“Yeah, we want to, but we’re waiting a little bit before we do,” Tyson explains, and goes on to say more when Colin gives him an interested look. “It’s just...I've only just been here for about six months now. We have plenty of time to leave, so no need to rush it.”

“That’s...really mature of you,” Colin says, a hint of surprise in his voice. “I understand, though, if there’s no need to go yet, might as well stay for a bit longer. And I’m glad we get to work together for a little while longer too.”

“I know it’s going to be a while before we leave, but I’m going to miss you, Colin,” Tyson whispers. “And I’m sorry that you won’t have Matt with you anymore.”

Colin shrugs. “I’ve been here long enough that I have enough friends to keep me company, so don’t worry about me. But I’m going to miss you, too.”

The rest of the walk is quiet, and Tyson hugs Colin briefly before his friend goes into his room. Sighing, Tyson goes into his room and flops down on the bed. All of this has felt like a whirlwind of emotion, and it’s left him feeling exhausted. It’s also hard for him to not tell his family about eventually coming back home.

Without knowing when he and Nathan will leave, along with the fact that they don’t want word getting out before necessary, he’s kept everything bottled inside. As hard as it all is, he knows it’ll all be worth it eventually. And he’s sure that his parents will understand, even if it might be a bit much at first.

The following months pass in a similar fashion, with both Tyson and Nathan feeling exhausted from keeping everything a secret. Nathan had mentioned briefly that he hadn’t told Bednar of his plans, unsure of what Bednar would do or say. And while Colin is a good confidant, he’s only one person and can only provide so much comfort. Tyson eventually brings this all up to Nathan on a rare night they have together.

“Think about all of this, I’m ready to go,” Tyson says softly. “But I want to make sure that you and your family are in a good spot as well. I know how much this job has helped them, as well as you.”

“I’ve sent more home than usual, which should give them a few months of extra coverage. And I might have to do some extra work on the side to make up for it eventually, but I’m sure we can figure that out,” Nathan explains.

Tyson frowns. “I’m sure we could figure something else out. Running a bakery is a lot of work and I don’t want you to feel overburdened.”

“Like I said, my family has been saving the extra money I’ve been sending home. We’ll have time, okay?”

Suddenly, Tyson realizes something so obvious, something that didn’t occur to either of them while thinking of their future together. He’s honestly ashamed that he didn’t think of this earlier, although it might not be something that either of them would think of right away.

“Nathan, would Bednar be suspicious if you suddenly decided to leave at the same time as me? I know you’ve said that he seems to be oddly supportive of this, but isn’t it odd that he’s been the only one saying that the crown would be supportive?”

Nathan looks confused for a brief moment. “I...didn’t even think about that.”

“Neither did I,” Tyson snorts. “Here we’ve been, planning our future together, and this completely slips our minds.”

Nathan shrugs. “I guess it would be a little suspicious, but I’m sure Bednar would figure out that I was following you anyways if you leave before I do.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Tyson sighs. “But it would be less so if you left a month or two after I did. And that would still give you more time to save some extra gold for your family.”

“That would make sense, and I’m sure it’ll help ease my family’s worries a little bit.”

“I’m sure it will,” Tyson says with a small smile.

“And you’re really sure that you want to leave? I know that you’ve been here a year now, but it’s only a year.”

“I think I’ve gotten my fill of working under the crown. I’ll miss Colin dearly, but I’ve made him promise to write to the both of us.”

“Well, if you’re truly sure, then I guess it’s time to start telling people.”

Tyson laughs, and goes to kiss Nathan. He’s excited for what’s to come, and to build a life with Nathan outside of the castle. They won’t have to hide anymore, no longer having to worry about what the crown thinks of their relationship. As nervous as he is about finding the funds to help Nathan’s family out, he’s sure they’ll figure something out that won’t work Nathan to the bone. 

When Nathan pulls away, he smiles and gives Tyson a quick peck on the lips. Tyson smiles, hopelessly in love with the man across from him. There’s still a long way to go towards them being fully settled in their new life, but there’s an end in sight now. It’s been a long time since he’s felt this happy and content with where his life has been headed.

“I wish we could leave at the same time,” Nathan whispers as he pulls back from the kiss. “I just want to start our life together right now.”

“I know, but we have to be practical about this,” Tyson sighs. “I’ll talk to Colin as soon as I can about what the process of leaving might look like.”

“I can’t believe this is actually happening,” Nathan says, tearing up a little bit.

Tyson giggles a little. “Neither can I.”

* * *

In the following days, Nathan feels a ball of nervousness build up within him. He’s not sure how to tell Bednar what’s going on without telling him everything. Neither he or Tyson believe he’s to be fully trusted, so he only wants to give Bednar the absolute barest of information. But he’s smart, he’ll know that Nathan and Tyson have been up to something.

But Nathan figures it’s best to have these conversations early, especially before Tyson leaves. Bednar would figure him out in a heartbeat if he waited until then. So, for now, he drops small hints of being unhappy with his work, and looking for other opportunities, giving Bednar just enough information to know that Nathan might end up leaving. When Nathan gets called to his chancery one afternoon, he can’t say that he’s surprised.

“So, Nathan, I’ve been hearing some rumors from the staff about some discontent you have with your position,” Bednar says, eyeing him carefully.

“Oh, it’s not anything serious, sir, I promise,” Nathan replies. 

“I’ve also heard the rumors of the baker, Tyson Barrie, packing his bags up and leaving soon as well,” Bednar says, a small smirk on his face.

Nathan feels a chill go up his spine. Tyson had been careful to only tell Colin of their plans, and had been very careful at packing up his few belongings he had in the castle. But Nathan should know as a messenger that the castle has ears everywhere, and as careful as Tyson might have been, there’s always someone lurking in the shadows.

“You have?” Nathan inquires, unsure of what else to say.

“It does not take a smart man to figure out what is going on, Nathan And I cannot hold it against you for wanting to leave, I’m honestly just surprised that you haven’t left sooner,” Bednar explains. “And it begs the question, why are you not leaving at the same time as Tyson?”

“Tyson can make his own decisions on what he wants to do. I don’t need to follow right away, if at all,” Nathan answers, not wanting to give too much information away.

Bednar smiles coldly. “That is understandable. But do not be surprised when I have you running small petty deliveries.”

“Of course, sir,” Nathan replies, just as cold.

“You’re dismissed,” Bednar says, getting back to the paperwork on his desk.

Nathan nods and makes his way back to his room. As much as he hates that Bednar knows of his plans with Tyson, he supposes that’ll make it easier to leave. Bednar also seems ready for him to leave, if the petty missions comment was anything to go by. And at the very least, it’ll leave Nathan wanting to leave even more than he already does. 

When he hears a small knock on the door, Nathan feels his heart start racing. But when he opens the door, Tyson is standing there, smiling sweetly. As happy as Nathan is to see Tyson, he’s unsure as to why Tyson is here. Turns out, he gets his explanation the second he shuts the door, and cuddles up to Tyson on his bed.

“So, Colin was saying that it should be safe for me to leave as of next week,” Tyson says, excitedly.

“Really? So soon?” Nathan inquires. “I thought that they would need more time to find someone else to replace you.”

Tyson shrugs. “King Rowan brought me on because he liked my pastries, not because I needed to replace anyone. Colin said that the extra hands were nice, but they can easily go back to how things worked before.”

“Oh, well, that’s good I suppose.”

“There’s something else on your mind, isn’t there?”

“Bednar seems to have caught on to your plans. We had a pleasant talk about it not too long ago,” Nathan explains.

“But we were being so careful,” Tyson whispers. “Is he angry?”

“It’s hard to tell with him, but I think he is, at least a little bit. He said that I’m going to be stuck running petty missions until I decide to leave.”

Tyson snorts. “I thought you were already running petty missions. What else could he make you do?”

“I’m not too sure, if I’m being honest. But as long as I can get an extra month’s worth of gold out of it, then I won’t mind too much.”

“Alright,” Tyson says, some hesitance in his voice. “And I’ll check with my parents to see what we can do, okay? If there’s something we can do, you can leave earlier. There’s no need for you to stay here longer than necessary. And I’m sorry there isn’t more I can do to help.”

“Thank you,” Nathan whispers before kissing Tyson briefly. “There’s also nothing to be sorry about, Tyson. With Matt gone, I honestly don’t know how long I would have ended up staying anyways. It’s not the same.”

Tyson wraps his arms around Nathan and holds him tightly. What he said was true, even if Tyson has never come to the castle, he probably would have left the castle without Matt there to help him. Matt was Nathan’s only friend before Tyson came along, and to work in the castle without someone you trust is dangerous. 

“Soon enough, we’ll be at the bakery together, and we’ll never have to worry about working here again,” Tysons says softly. “There’ll be some long days, but I promise that it’ll be worth it.”

Nathan smiles a little. “I can’t wait to properly meet your family, especially since they only know me as a royal messenger.”

“Oh lord, I’ll never hear the end of it,” Tyson groans, hiding his face in Nathan’s shoulder. “My mother will never stop teasing me. But they’ll be happy for us, I’m sure of it.”

“I can’t wait,” Nathan whispers.

They lay together for a few more minutes before Tyson pulls back. Nathan mourns the loss of contact, but knows that it’s probably because Tyson needs to leave soon. If Colin is right, they won’t have much more time together.

“I should probably go,” Tyson says, wistfully. “I’ll be sure to see you before I leave, but...I’m going to miss you, Nathan.”

“It won’t be for long, just long enough to not be too suspicious.”

Tyson snorts. “If Bednar knows, I’m sure everyone else already knows.”

“It’s the effort that counts,” Nathan replies, shrugging.

“I’ll be back in a few days, I promise,” Tyson says, standing up. 

Tyson looks somber as he leaves Nathan, which is completely understandable in Nathan’s opinion. Once he leaves, Nathan lets out a sigh. As excited as he is to start his new life with Tyson, he’s still nervous about having to transition out of his life that he’s built within the castle.

Nathan has been here since he was barely a teenager, meaning he’s spent almost half of his life working under the crown. It feels odd moving on, and there’s a small part of him that’s scared as all hell, but he knows that he’s making the right decision. His family has assured him that even if he’s not able to find supplemental income right away, they’ll figure things out because he deserves to be happy.

As the days get closer to Tyson’s departure from the castle, Nathan can feel his anxiety start to grow. There’s some part of him that’s expecting it all to go wrong, especially with Bednar knowing. But everything is going according to plan, and Tyson visits him the night before he leaves to go back to his family’s bakery.

“I can’t believe this is really happening,” Tyson says quietly. 

“Neither can I,” Nathan murmurs. “I wish I could be going with you.”

Tyson smiles. “You’ll be coming soon enough. I know we’re having you wait to not be too suspicious, but it’ll also give me time to talk with my parents about it. It’ll be shocking enough for them to see that I’m back home, much less with a boy in tow.”

Nathan laughs at that. “I still don’t know why you didn’t tell them earlier.”

“They would have just tried to talk me out of it, this is easier, I promise.”

“Whatever you say,” Nathan says, before giving Tyson a soft kiss.

As Tyson pulls back, he says quietly, “I’m going to miss this.”

“It’s only a month away from each other. We can do it.”

“Just because it’s only a month doesn’t mean I have to like it,” Tyson replies, rolling his eyes. “I should get going.”

“Of course,” Nathan says, eyes tearing up a little.

“Oh, don’t cry on me,” Tyson laments. 

Nathan lets out a wet laugh before holding Tyson closely, crying into his shoulders. This only causes Tyson to start sobbing as well. Neither are sure how long they sit there, letting all of their tears out. When they pull apart, Nathan does his best to pull himself together.

“Only a month,” Nathan says, voice rough. “I’ll see you soon darling.”

Tyson nods, and gives him a wet kiss. “It’ll fly by.”

When Tyson gets up, he looks mournful and regretfully pulls his hand from Nathan’s. Neither say goodbye to each other, both feeling like it’s too final. 

“I love you,” Tyson says, voice quivering a little.

“I love you too,” Nathan says back. “Only a month.”

Tyson nods, jaw tense from trying not to cry again. When he opens the door, he looks back once more before shutting it. Once it’s shut, Nathan can feel the tears streaming down his face, and his heart breaking. It’s only a temporary moment away from each other, such a short time away from Tyson in the grand scheme of it all. But when Nathan thinks of all the things that could go wrong, of all the things that could prevent him from leaving the castle, it scares him more than he would ever admit.

* * *

When Tyson wakes up the morning of his departure from the castle, he’s not quite sure what he’s feeling. As excited as he is to be going back to his family’s bakery, Tyson is anxious about Nathan. They’ve planned everything perfectly, but he’s scared that something will prevent Nathan from leaving the castle. But he has to have faith that everything will work out just fine. A small knock on his door breaks him out of his thoughts.

“Good morning,” Colin greets once Tyson opens the door. “I’m just here to see you off.”

“Oh,” Tyson says, getting a bit teary eyed.

“You’re not going to cry over me, are you?” Colin jokes. “I’ll write to you plenty, and it’s not as if I don’t run errands in the city on occasion. I’ll be sure to stop by when I do.”

“But I won’t see you every day,” Tyson replies mournfully. 

Colin laughs a little. “I promise you’ll be just fine once Nathan joins you. You’ll hardly remember me soon enough.”

“Of course I’ll remember you,” Tyson says, before pulling his friend into a hug.

They stand there for a few moments, realizing that this might be one of the last times that they see each other in person.

“You’re going to do amazing,” Colin whispers as he pulls away from the embrace. “You were one of my favorites, but it’s good to see your potential not wasted away here in the castle.”

“We’ll always have a place for you in the bakery if you want it,” Tyson says.

Colin smiles, looking a little bit wistful. “This place is the place I knew Matt. It’ll be too hard for me to let go.”

Tyson nods. “I understand, but just thought I would offer anyways.”

“I’ll see you around,” Colin says, before walking off.

Once Colin is out of sight, Tyson lets out a big sigh. He turns to his room to take one more look around before grabbing his bag and leaving his room for the last time. It feels wrong just leaving like this, but Colin had assured him that it was the right thing to do. As he starts walking through the castle, he can feel the guards watching him carefully.

But nobody stops him, even as he goes through the gates at the front of the castle. Walking through the city feels odd, especially since he won’t be going back. But he’s excited to see his parents again and be reunited with his family. He’s certain that his parents will be angry, but they’ll be happy to have him back in the end.

As he enters the front door of the bakery, he sees his mom and smiles. When Kristy looks up, she freezes, unsure of what to make of what’s in front of her. Tyson laughs a little before stepping forward a little bit.

“Hi,” Tyson greets, unsure of what else to say.

“What are you doing here?” Kristy inquires, her voice cracking a little bit.

“Well, um, it’s kind of a long story,” Tyson answers, laughing. “Is father around?”

“Yes, he’s just in the back. Come with me, I’ll get one of the apprentices to run the front,” Kristy says, still in shock.

Tyson follows her, and notices that the shop hasn’t changed a bit since he was there last. Kristy sends an apprentice that he hasn’t seen before to the front and grabs his father, dragging him back to the small room that holds all of the dry goods.

“Tyson?” Len says in confusion. “What are you doing here?”

“Um, so, funny story,” Tyson replies.

And so he explains how he and Nathan met, then fell in love. His parents obviously have a lot of questions, but they let him keep telling his story. Tyson does his best to convey the fact that the decision to leave the castle wasn’t a rushed one, but something that was well-thought out and an accumulation of events. 

“Well, that’s basically it,” Tyson says. “I know that’s a lot, and I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to you before, but we couldn’t let anyone know about this.”

“Oh, I can’t believe you’re in love,” Kristy cries before hugging her son. “And with the nice messenger boy as well. He seems like a good man.”

“I’m happy for you,” Len says before joining in on the hug.

Tyson basks in the happiness of being with his family again. He’s excited at the thought of Nathan joining them and building their life together here. There’s so many more opportunities for them now. Once they pull away from the hug, Kristy gets a concerned look on her face, which causes Tyson to panic.

“Now, it’s not that I don’t understand why you didn’t say anything, but I wish you had. We gave your room to one of our new apprentices, so we don’t have a place for you to stay,” Kristy says nervously.

“Oh, well, um, I’m sure we can figure something out,” Tyson says, panic seeping through a little bit. 

“Well, the Duchene house has been vacated long enough that the price is low enough for us to afford,” Len points out.

Kristy and Tyson both look disgusted. Nobody liked the Duchenes’, not after they left the city in such a horrid fashion. But, as much as Tyson doesn’t want to admit it, taking their house and refurbishing it might not be a horrible idea. And surely the city wants it off of their hands, so it would sell for a low enough price.

“I don’t want to say it, but it might be our best option,” Tyson admits with some disgust in his voice. “I’m sure Nathan and I can manage it just fine.”

“I understand wanting your own house, but the Duchenes’ house?” Kristy grimances.

“I don’t like it either, but there won’t be anywhere else for us to go,” Tyson says. “But I feel like we’re getting ahead of ourselves. How much is it going for?”

“Only a couple hundred gold last I heard,” Len replies, shrugging. “Wouldn’t be much of a hardship for us to get it.”

“Well, if it all works out, then that would be nice,” Tyson says.

“I guess it’s settled then,” Kristy murmurs.

* * *

The month that Nathan spends in the castle without Tyson feels odd. Time seems to move slower than before, despite him running more petty missions throughout the day. It’s hard knowing that he can’t just stop by to visit Tyson or write him a letter asking how he’s settling in at the bakery. He has to keep reminding himself that it’ll all be worth it once he’s able to leave.

At the moment, however, he’s mostly worried about how to tell Bednar that he’s going to be leaving the castle. It’s not as if Bednar is unaware that he’ll be leaving soon enough, but Nathan knows that it’s going to be an awkward conversation nonetheless. In usual fashion, he decides to leave the conversation for only a few days before he’s meant to be leaving.

“I assume you’re here for a good reason,” Bednar says as Nathan enters his chancery. 

“Yes, sir,” Nathan replies. 

“And would I also be right in guessing that this reason is you leaving the royal staff?”

“You would be right, sir.”

Bednar nods. “Very well then. There was a small part of me that was hoping that you wouldn’t be leaving, but sometimes the heart wins out in these matters. I will have you finish running deliveries through tomorrow evening, but then you will be free to go.”

“You would be right,” Nathan replies. “And thank you, sir, for everything.”

Bednar lets out a dry laugh. “You have nothing to thank me for. But I do hope that you enjoy your life with the baker, Nathan. You can go now.”

“Thank you,” Nathan murmurs, before taking his leave.

Even after that conversation, him leaving the castle still doesn’t feel quite real. It’s mostly the not knowing what awaits him on the other side, even if Tyson is there waiting for him. He keeps reminding himself of that to try and ground himself as the last few days pass. Even as he packs his bags, it all still feels a bit surreal.

When the day of his departure comes, Nathan is feeling like his emotions are all over the place. He’s excited to finally see Tyson again, and to hold him, but he’s anxious about the whole decision. There’s no going back from this, and as certain as he is that they made the right decision, there’s still the small part of him that wonders about the what-ifs. But Nathan does his best to reassure himself before he leaves the castle.

There’s a small knock on his door as he goes to grab his bags. He’s confused, not sure who would be coming by to see him. Colin had already told him goodbye this morning as he grabbed breakfast, so it wouldn’t be him. When he opens the door, he sees Nazem standing on the other side.

“So, you’ve decided to finally follow Tyson, huh?” Nazem asks, instead of a proper greeting. 

“You’ve heard then,” Nathan answers. “But yeah, it’s about time I went with him. And it’s been feeling lonely without him.”

Nazem smiles sadly. “I can imagine. I’m happy that you’ll be with him, though. You deserve a happy ending, Nathan. I know that we didn’t really get to work together all that much, but you’re a good man.”

“Thank you,” Nathan whispers. “I hope you find your place here. I can’t imagine what it was like to uproot your entire life.”

“You do what you must to try and find happiness,” Nazem replies, shrugging a little bit. “Anyways, I just stopped by to say goodbye.”

Nathan nods, and watches Nazem walk off. There’s something about the exchange that makes him sad, and it’s probably knowing that Nazem doesn’t have anyone else in the castle to support him. He hopes that Nazem finds someone like he found Tyson. Sighing, Nathan looks back at his bags, then steels himself up, and decides that it’s time to go.

As he makes his way out of the castle, he feels weird departing the gates without a message to deliver. But he also realizes that these steps mark an important moment in his life. As he makes his way towards the bakery, he can feel the anxiety start to ramp up, unsure of what the reaction will be when he shows up. Tyson had assured him that it would all be fine, but he still feels nervous that Tyson’s parents won’t like him when they realize that he’s in love with their son.

“Hello?” Nathan greets, as he walks into the bakery.

“Nathan?” a voice shouts from the back.

Tyson is then poking his head around the corner, and smiles brightly when he sees Nathan standing there. Nathan feels like there’s a weight lifted off of his shoulders as he catches Tyson’s eyes.

“You’re actually here,” Tyson says, teary-eyed, before barreling into Nathan, hugging him tightly.

“I missed you so much,” Nathan whispers, as he holds Tyson. “It felt like so long, just waiting around in the castle.”

“I never want to be apart for that long ever again,” Tyson murmurs. “There’s so much I need to catch you up on.”

Nathan pulls back a little and smiles. “Well, we have forever now, don’t we.”

“Don’t get sappy on me,” Tyson jokes.

Nathan just smiles smugly before kissing Tyson. God, he’s missed this feeling, being close to Tyson, tasting the sweetness on his lips. A loud cough in the background, however, pulls them apart, and Nathan flushes when he sees Kristy standing there, with an arched eyebrow.

“Um, sorry, ma’am,” Nathan says, grabbing Tyson’s hand for comfort. “It’s good to see you again?”

“What did I tell you about calling me ma’am?” Kristy inquires, a hint of laughter in her voice.

“It just seems appropriate?” Nathan answers, uncertain.

“Now, I can’t have you calling me ma’am when you’re courting my son, now can I?” Kristy replies. 

“I suppose not,” Nathan murmurs.

“Now, why don’t you come and set your stuff down. I’ll have Jost and Compher run the front of the shop while we have a talk,” she says. “There’s plenty we have to tell you, especially since Tyson was insistent that we weren’t to write you any letters about what we’ve been up to. Len is already in the back waiting for us.”

Tyson just rolls his eyes, and drags Nathan to the back of the bakery. As Nathan looks around the bakery, he notices the two apprentices huddled close together, talking quietly over some baked goods. They must be Jost and Compher, and Nathan makes note to ask Tyson about them later, knowing that they hadn’t been mentioned before.

Turns out, the back of the bakery is just a tiny chancery with a couple of shelves stuffed to the brim with papers. There’s enough room for the four of them to sit, but it’s a smaller space than Nathan was expecting. He guesses that it makes sense, though, considering they might want all the space they can get for baking.

“It’s good to officially meet you Nathan,” Len comments once everyone is seated. “I know we’ve met before, but never as the person who is courting our son.”

Nathan finds himself blushing again. “Yes, I suppose these are different circumstances.”

“Now, I’m sure you have a lot of questions, but we’ll do our best to answer them,” Kristy says. “I just want to start off by saying that you and Tyson won’t have to worry about finding a house. We’ve bought the old Duchene house as a present for the two of you.”

“The Duchene house?” Nathan inquires, a look of disgust on his face. 

“It was really the best option,” Tyson answers, sadly. “Jost and Compher are living in my parent’s spare room for the time being, so we needed to find somewhere else to live. And since it was the cheapest option, my parents decided to help us a little bit. We’ll still have to furnish it ourselves but…”

“Well, if you say it was the best choice, then I’ll trust you,” Nathan says. “It’ll be odd living in their house, but it’ll be nice not having to worry about trying to find somewhere to stay.”

“Smart man,” Len remarks. “Now, it’s my understanding that you’ve been training as a messenger for most of your life?”

“That would be correct, sir,” Nathan replies.

“Don’t call me sir, you’re family,” Len says, with a small smile. “We don’t want that to go to waste, and it might help something we’ve been thinking about doing for a while. Some families don’t have the time to make it out to the bakery, but still want our goods.”

“Are you...suggesting a delivery service?” Nathan asks, scrunching his eyebrows.

“Yes, something along those lines,” Kristy answers. “Not sure how well it would work out, but we also figured that it could put a little bit of extra gold in our pockets.”

“And we would use that money to send it home to your family,” Tyson explains. “It might not be much at first, but it’ll be the easiest way for us to make sure there’s enough to send home to them. Of course we don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.”

“No, I like that idea. And I know the city and the people well enough to feel comfortable doing it,” Nathan says. “Besides, I’m not all that good at baking, so this is probably the better option.”

“Seems like it’s settled then,” Kristy says with a bright smile. “Until we get that all settled, along with finding customers who would willingly pay for the service, Len and I will be teaching you about the business side of running the bakery.”

“Not so sure how good I’ll be at that, but I suppose it’s best to learn now,” Nathan replies.

**FIVE YEARS LATER**

“Why does getting up early never get easier,” Nathan grumbles, as he feels Tyson shaking him awake. “I feel like I should be used to it by now.”

Tyson kisses him softly. “You never get used to it, sweetheart. Now let’s get going before Josty and JT show up. We both remember what happened last time they showed up to the bakery completely unsupervised.”

“I’ll never forget,” Nathan replies with a grimace. “I couldn’t look at them seriously for a month.”

“It was much more embarrassing for them than it was for us,” Tyson says sympathetically. “Now seriously, get up and get dressed, okay?”

Nathan grumbles a bit, but gets up out of bed and readies himself for the long day ahead. Life after leaving the castle seemed busier than he would have ever imagined it to be, but Nathan loves it more than anything. Spending every day with Tyson was everything he had hoped it to be, even with the occasional quarrel. 

Business has been doing well for the bakery, especially with Nathan running the deliveries. The royals that remembered him from the castle had started ordering from the bakery, and left hefty tips. His family had started getting more gold from Nathan’s new job than he had been able to give while working under the crown. With that in mind, he had nothing to make him regret leaving the castle.

As he makes his way downstairs towards the kitchen, Nathan makes note of the empty rooms they have. There’s more space than he and Tyson know what to do with, neither having the means to have such a big house before. A small part of him longs to start a family, but he’s unsure if they’re ready for that.

Nathan remembers growing up with enough siblings to fill the farmhouse. Despite how chaotic it got sometimes, he longs to have that for himself and Tyson. There’s enough forgotten children roaming the city that they could take in a couple of them, especially since the bakery has given them the financial means to do so. It wouldn’t be easy, that’s for certain, but the thought of starting their own family together warms Nathan’s heart.

“What are you thinking about?” Tyson asks softly, as Nathan comes into the kitchen.

Nathan smiles a little, and gives him a quick kiss. “Just thinking about our future together. And how I might want to start a family with you soon.”

“Oh,” Tyson says, obviously taken by surprise. “I...well, that’s one way to start the morning, isn’t it?”

“Just...we have the space and means to, don’t we?”

“I suppose we do,” Tyson comments. “We’ll have to talk about this more when I’m not half asleep, okay?”

“Of course,” Nathan says softly. 

Tyson gives him a soft smile, before handing over a cup of coffee and some fresh eggs that he’s cooked up. It’s a small breakfast, but both usually snatch a pastry from the ovens before truly starting their day. As soon as they finish eating, they start their walk to the bakery.

The silence in the early morning is peaceful and always gives Nathan a moment to try and collect himself. Once they enter the bakery, it’s nothing short of chaotic and the day doesn’t slow until early afternoon. Len and Kristy have slowly started to take a step back from running the bakery, so they normally don’t show up until midday to help with whatever needs to be cleaned or organized. 

Thankfully, they make it to the bakery before Josty and JT, which eases Nathan’s nerves a little bit. As happy as Nathan is that they’ve found love with one another, he never wants to see them making out next to the ovens again. If waking up before the sun fully rises means he won’t ever have to bear witness to it, then so be it.

Sighing, Nathan makes his way to the chancery to review what deliveries he has to make for the day so that he can plan out the easiest route for him to talk. Even though it’s only been five years since he left the castle, he’s noticed that it’s been a bit hard to go as fast as he used to. Without the pressure from Bednar, he’s been able to take things a bit easier.

As the smell of fresh baked bread starts to waft towards Nathan, he takes that as his cue to head towards the ovens. When he gets to the entryway, he sees Tyson laughing with Josty and JT. Nathan smiles, and feels the happiness well up within him. Even if this isn’t where he imagined his life when he left his family, he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

The morning passes by quickly, and Nathan gets lost in the paperwork needed for the delivery system. His concentration is broken when JT comes back to the chancery looking a little confused.

“Is everything okay?” Nathan asks.

“It’s just...someone named Nazem is out front asking for you? He said that he knew you from the castle,” JT explains.

“I’ll be out in a moment,” Nathan says. 

He puts away the papers in a disorganized pile, and makes his way out to the front of the bakery. He hasn’t heard from Nazem since his first year helping with the bakery. They’ve seen each other a couple of times while running deliveries, but never stopped to talk for long. He’s curious as to why Nazem decided to stop by now of all times.

“Nazem?” Nathan inquires, once he gets to the front of the shop.

The man turns and looks at him, smiling. “Nathan, it’s good to see you again.”

“It is,” Nathan says, unsure of what else to say. “What brings you here?”

“It’s nothing bad, I promise,” Nazem answers. “I...well, I guess I’m here to pick up something nice for someone special. And I thought I would say hi while I’m at it.”

Nathan gives him an inquiring look, which only causes Nazem to blush. It’s not that Nathan isn’t happy that Nazem appears to have found him, it’s just odd that he’s stopped by a bakery of all places.

“Is it someone I know?” Nathan asks.

Nazem blushes. “It’s Colin. I...well, we’ve only recently started seeing each other, but we became close not too long after you left the castle. We both lost people we knew when you and Tyson took your leave, so it was only natural we started talking to each other. And, well, I guess I wanted to do something special for him.”

“Oh, well, I can definitely help you with that,” Nathan says, smiling widely.

While he wasn’t quite expecting that, he’s still happy for his friend, and he’s especially happy that Colin has found someone else that can make him happy like Matt did. Everything seems to be coming together, making Nathan feel even more content with his new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was such a joy to write and I hope you all enjoyed reading it <3


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